Contents

• Should a Believer Separate From an Unbelieving Spouse?
• When Does Marriage Take Place?
• When Marriage Takes Place
• What Happens when the Unbelieving Spouse Departs?
• Why a Believing Spouse Should Not Resolutely Oppose One’s Departing Unbelieving Spouse

Key definitions: 1 Corinthians 7: 15 - "bondage", Strong's No. 1402. douloo, doo-lo-o; from 1401; a slave (lit. or fig.):- bring into (be under) bondage, x given, become (make) servant

1 Corinthians 7: 39 - "bound", Strong's No. 1210. deo, deh-o; a prim. verb; to bind (in various applications, lit. or fig.): - bind, be in bonds, knit, tie, wind. See also 1163, 1189.

As per 1 Corinthians 7: 15, the status of either a husband or a wife is NOT that of a slave, but is higher than that of a slave.

This verse addresses the scenario whereby an unbeliever married to a believer desires to separate from the believer. It does not address a scenario whereby a believer desires to separate from an unbeliever.

A believer is NOT to separate himself or herself from a person he or she is married to. For that which Yahweh has joined together let not man separate.

Has Yahweh joined together in marriage a believer and an unbeliever?

YES - for the children born of them are sanctified, and are not unholy seed. Meaning Yahweh has blessed the marriage of the believer, even though he or she is married to an unbeliever. Meaning that Yahweh has joined the two of them in marriage.

Therefore, no man is to put asunder a union effected by none other than Yahweh. Only Yahweh may put asunder that union which he himself has effected. And the only ground on which he authorises a husband to put asunder that union is if the wife becomes an adulteress. Therefore, if the wife has not committed adultery, her marriage continues, irrespective of whether or not she lives together with her husband. She is still lawfully married to him, and cannot lawfully separate herself from him in marriage.

Therefore, any separation a wife can make from her husband can only be a physical separation, but not a separation having the effect of annulling or ending her marriage.

If the wife be the believer, and her husband decides to disregard Yahweh's law and puts her away from his presence, or walks out on her, while she is not to insist that her husband live continually with her, allowing the husband to do his desire, she is nevertheless FORBIDDEN from marrying another man. For any such marriage would not be marriage as such, but would be adultery. For even if her husband departs from her, in Yahweh's eyes the marriage is still valid and has not been annulled. Her lot is therefore to live a chaste life without any sexual relations with another.

Even though her husband is placing her in a position whereby she is likely to commit adultery, she must not succumb to Satan. She should instead ask Yahweh for his self-control, thereby enabling her to live a chaste life free from sexual immorality.

When does Yahweh enjoin in marriage - before one or both of the parties to the marriage becomes a believer, or when one or both of them becomes a believer?

For example, two unbelievers, the woman being unmarried and not betrothed, come together in marriage. The woman, by not having been wife to any man, is free to marry. The man also has no impediment to his marrying this or any other woman. Is the marriage of these two enjoined by Yahweh? Or, are the two living together in fornication, even though they think that they are married to one another?

Say then that they have some children. Then one of them becomes a believer, while the other does not. And they continue living together as husband and wife and have more children.

At this stage, which of their children are holy? All of them, or only the ones conceived and born after one of them became a believer?

Then, after some time, Satan influences the unbeliever to depart from living together with the believer, and the believer does not force the unbeliever to continue living together as they had previously lived. Is the believer who was left by the unbeliever now free to marry someone else?

What if the believer was the woman, is she free to marry someone else?

It appears to me that Yahweh enjoins in marriage two people who can lawfully marry, and intend to marry, when they become one through sexual union. It is irrelevant whether they are both unbelievers or both believers.

If it was relevant, then all marriages between unbelievers who may lawfully be married to one another would not be valid marriages. Such relationships would be fornication.

If then one such individual becomes a believer, to deepen one's faith one would have to repent of one's fornication in order to be baptised and to receive the gift of Holy Spirit of Yahweh. That would mean one would have to cease living with the person one was living with in what one thought was marriage, for it was not valid marriage, but fornication.

If one departed from such an individual, and become baptised, and received the gift of the Holy Spirit of Yahweh, that one would then NOT return to live in marriage together with the one whom one had already been living together with in what one thought was marriage, but was actually invalid marriage, being fornication. But if one returned to so live with the person one was "fornicating" with before, does the living together after one becomes a believer now sanction that relationship and make it valid before Yahweh, when before one become a believer the same manner of life was abhorrent fornication?!

It doesn't make sense!!! It doesn't make sense!!!

If a particular behaviour or relationship was fornication before one becomes a believer, then it continues to be fornication after one becomes a believer! And if it was not fornication before one became a believer, then it does not become fornication after one becomes a believer!

When one searches the holy Scriptures, does one ever find any scenario where Yahweh requires new believers who are married to unbelievers to depart from their unbelieving spouses, on the ground that such relationships are fornication?

Instead, does not one find scriptures addressing conduct in marriage between a believer and an unbeliever? Therefore sanctioning the validity of a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever! And if so sanctioned, thereby also sanctioning the validity of the marriage of the two before any one of them became a believer?!

For acceptance of Yah'shuah as the Messiah and one's Saviour changes absolutely nothing regarding one's marital status! If one was unmarried before one became a believer, one is still unmarried immediately after one becomes a believer. If one was married before one became a believer, one remains married immediately after one becomes a believer. One's marital status does not change immediately one accepts Yah'shuah as one's Saviour and believes his word.

Marriage is therefore not effected when one becomes a believer, but when one is lawfully sexually enjoined to another one can lawfully sexually be enjoined to and both intend to marry one another, irrespective of whether or not none or both of the parties is a believer. Thus sex between a harlot and a man is not marriage, for there is no intention on the part of either the man or the woman to make that sexual union a marriage relationship, being merely the pursuit of pleasure, and illicit at that. While sex between an unmarried woman and a man lawfully capable of marriage and both intending to marry one another is indeed marriage and marks its commencement.

Yahweh therefore enjoins in marriage two who can lawfully marry when they come together in marriage and sexually consummate their togetherness, irrespective of whether or not they are both believers or both unbelievers. And if these two are not believers, their living together is NOT fornication, but is valid marriage in the eyes of Yahweh.

Children born to them are not those arising from fornication, as would be the case if they were harlots or other fornicators. They are children born within proper marriage of their parents.

Therefore, if one of the parents of these children becomes a believer, Yahweh not only extends the sanctification of this new believer to his or her spouse, but also to their properly conceived and born children. It is not only those who are conceived after a parent becomes a believer who are sanctified by Yahweh, but all the children of a believer, even as the unbelieving husband is so sanctified, and thereby not deemed unholy or profane.

Even if the unbelieving spouse is subsequently erroneously influenced by Satan and departs from the believing spouse, the status of the marriage does not change. The marriage remains valid, as Yahweh, who enjoined the two, has not put the marriage asunder.

If the unbeliever is the husband, as the marriage still stands before Yahweh, and the wife is still lawfully married to his deserting husband, she is not allowed to marry another man. If she does, she becomes an adulteress.

If the unbeliever is the wife, she is still not allowed to marry another man, as she is still bound in marriage to her husband, whom she has deserted, for as long as he lives. The believing husband, by not deserting his wife, has not put her in a position whereby she may commit adultery. He therefore has not, in this matter, violated the law against adultery. He can marry another woman. Nevertheless, if the unbelieving wife repents and returns to him, he should be reconciled with her and accept her back in his household, even if he has married another woman or women.

Why should a believer married to an unbeliever not resolutely oppose the unbeliever when he or she determines to desert from the believer?

To prevent a situation arising whereby the believer will be at war with the unbeliever. For believers were not called to a life of warring with their spouses, but to live peaceably with them. (This is not to say that the life of a believer is devoid of family warfare. For Yah'shuah himself said that as a result of his way of life individual family members would be divided against themselves. Not because his way is one of war. But because Satan puts it into the hearts of those who do not accept Yah'shuah's way to cause trouble to the believers.) Therefore, if an unbeliever determines to desert a believing spouse, the believer, for the sake of family peace, should allow the unbeliever to have his or her way.

For a believer is not in slavery or bondage to an unbelieving spouse, whereby he or she must live together with the unbeliever under all circumstances. No! If the unbeliever determines not to follow Yahweh's commands to behave in a manner faithful to the marriage, and determines to go after Satan outside the marriage, the believer should allow the unbeliever that. For does not even Yahweh give all of us free will to make our choices, whether to obey him or not? So who is a believer to deny another human being freedom of choice, when Yahweh himself has given all human beings this freedom of choice? Therefore, just as Yahweh does not interfere with the freedom of choice he has given humans, so also should believers not interfere with the freedom of choice their spouses have, a freedom of choice granted by Yahweh to all humans.

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