Divorcing
and Marrying Again without Sinning
By
Isaac Aluochier
All scriptural quotations are from the Hebrew Names Version of the World English Bible available at http://www.ebible.org/bible/hnv/.
Yah'shuah's Words On Marriage And Divorce
Mattityahu (Matthew) 5:31-32 reads,
5:31"It was also said, 'Whoever shall put away his wife, let
him give her a writing of divorce.' 5:32But I tell you that everyone who puts away his wife, except
for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever
shall marry her when she is put away commits adultery.
It therefore appears that a husband is ALLOWED to put away his wife where she has been sexually immoral. Such a husband does not commit sin, of adultery, by so putting away his wife.
Mattityahu (Matthew) 19:3-9 reads,
19:3Perushim
came to him, testing him, and saying, "Is it lawful for a man to
divorce his wife for any reason?"
19:4He
answered, "Haven't you read that he who made them
from the beginning made them male and female, 19:5and said, 'For this
cause will a man leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife; and
the two will become one flesh?' 19:6So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What
therefore the Mighty One has joined together, don't let man tear apart."
19:7They asked him, "Why
then did Moshe command us to give her a bill of divorce, and divorce her?"
19:8He said to them, "Moshe, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed
you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. 19:9I tell you that
whoever will put away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and will
marry another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is put away
commits adultery."
Man Has No Authority To Tear Apart Whatever Yahweh
Unites
It should also be noted that man has NO AUTHORITY to tear apart whatever the Mighty One has joined together. Therefore, when the Mighty One has joined together in marriage a man and a woman, no human has the authority to tear apart that union. Any human being who purports to tear apart that marriage union commits adultery.
Can Man Tear Apart Unions That Yahweh Has Not
Effected?
What about unions, including marriage unions, that the Mighty One has not joined together? Can man tear these apart?
Adulterous Marriages Should Be Severed
Both Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9 clearly show that it is possible for a man to marry a woman who has been put away. Nevertheless, these scriptures also show that such marriages are ADULTEROUS MARRIAGES!
Implying that though the sexually immoral wife has been put away from her husband, she is not allowed to marry again. Implying that she is still technically under the authority of her husband, even though put away from him! Also, a man who sexually lies with such a put away woman commits adultery, for she is still technically the wife of her husband, even though put away from him!
Therefore, a man who is married to such a put away woman is indeed in an adulterous marriage or relationship. This is a marriage that Yahweh has not effected, but has EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN! Not only can such a marriage be torn apart by man, it SHOULD be torn apart by man. For it is adultery, and violates Yahweh's law against adultery!
For Exodus 20:14 reads,
20:14"You
shall not commit adultery.
Therefore, a man who is involved in such an adulterous marriage must put away the woman (wife) with whom he is living in adultery. For that woman is not really his wife, but is the wife of another man, even though she is put away from that other man. For a woman who is put away from a marriage effected by Yahweh is not allowed to marry again.
Severing An Adulterous Marriage Is Repentance
By such a man putting away such a wife he is NOT committing sin. In fact, he is repenting of sin - the sin of adultery, for he was "married" to or sexually lying with someone else's wife!
It should therefore be clear that marriages that human beings enter into that are not in harmony with Yahweh's word CAN BE SEVERED! And marriages that human beings enter into that are against Yahweh's word SHOULD BE SEVERED! For such severance of such marriages is actually repentance from sin.
A Father's Consent Is Necessary For A Daughter To
Be Validly Married
Shemot (Exodus) 22:16-17 reads,
22:16"If
a man entices a virgin who isn't pledged to be married, and lies with her, he
shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife. 22:17If
her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to
the dowry of virgins.
It should be noted that just because an unmarried woman gives herself over to a man sexually DOES NOT automatically mean that she becomes married to that man. For her father must give consent to her marriage to that man for her to be validly considered that man's wife. And where her father refuses to give her away in marriage to that man she is NOT MARRIED to that man!
What If A Daughter Does Not Submit To Her Father?
Now, she can rebel against her father's word, or ignore her father's word, and continue living with that man as if she was his wife. Nevertheless, in Yahweh's eyes, Yahweh did not effect her marriage to that man. For Yahweh did not authorise her marriage to that man, seeing that the woman showed contempt for the authority of her father in giving her away in marriage, authority that Yahweh specifically gave to her father.
And seeing that Yahweh has given an unmarried woman's father authority to refuse to ratify her marriage to a man, thereby voiding such an unratified marriage, it should be evident that a woman MUST obtain her father's consent before her marriage can be deemed valid in Yahweh's eyes. And prior to such ratification by her father she is indeed NOT MARRIED in Yahweh's eyes. Yahweh does not consider her relationship with such a man to be marriage, even though considered marriage at the level of human beings. And if Yahweh does not consider such a relationship marriage, what does he consider it?
Some Human Marriages Are In Fact Prostitution
It appears to me that such a relationship is termed prostitution, even though the woman does not have several men with whom she has sex.
It also appears to me that the children or seed from such a relationship are what Yahweh terms "children of disobedience" in Isaiah 57.
Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 57:1-5 reads,
57:1The
righteous perishes, and no man lays it to heart; and merciful men are taken
away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. 57:2He enters into shalom; they rest in their
beds, each one who walks in his uprightness. 57:3But
draw near here, you sons of the sorceress, the seed of the adulterer and the
prostitute. 57:4Against whom do
you sport yourselves? Against whom make you a wide mouth, and put out the
tongue? Aren't you children of disobedience, a seed of falsehood, 57:5you who inflame yourselves among the oaks,
under every green tree; who kill the children in the valleys, under the clefts
of the rocks?
Yahweh terms "children of disobedience" those who are born through adultery or prostitution. For both adultery and prostitution are actions contrary to Yahweh's word. Therefore children born through adultery or prostitution are children of the disobedience of their parents, a seed of the falsehood of their parents!
Marriages Of Disobedience Should Be Severed
Seeing that Yahweh does not recognise as marriage the relationship of such a woman living with a man, a woman who did not obtain her father's consent to live in marriage with that man, such a relationship SHOULD BE SEVERED! For it is not a union that Yahweh effected, but a union effected contrary to Yahweh's word, in disobedience to Yahweh's word! Therefore, to repent of the disobedience, those engaged in such a relationship should sever it.
Holy People Forbidden From Marrying Unholy People
Devarim (Deuteronomy) 7:1-7 reads,
7:1When
Yahweh your Mighty One shall bring you into the land where you go to possess
it, and shall cast out many nations before you, the Chittite, and the Girgashi,
and the Amori, and the Kana`ani, and the Perizzi, and the Chivvi, and the
Yevusi, seven nations greater and mightier than you; 7:2and when Yahweh your Mighty One shall
deliver them up before you, and you shall strike them; then you shall utterly
destroy them: you shall make no covenant with them, nor show mercy to them; 7:3neither shall you make marriages with
them; your daughter you shall not give to his son, nor his daughter shall you
take to your son. 7:4For he will
turn away your son from following me, that they may serve other mighty ones: so
will the anger of Yahweh be kindled against you, and he will destroy you
quickly. 7:5But thus shall you
deal with them: you shall break down their altars, and dash in pieces their
pillars, and hew down their Asherim, and burn their engraved images with fire. 7:6For you are a holy people to Yahweh your
Mighty One: Yahweh your Mighty One has chosen you to be a people for his own
possession, above all peoples who are on the face of the earth.
It should be clear that Yahweh forbids his holy people, those who faithfully worship him, from marrying those who are not holy, those who do not faithfully worship Yahweh. For if the holy people marry unholy people it is probable that the unholy ones will turn the holy ones from faithfully worshipping or serving Yahweh, eventually leading to the death of those who had been holy. Therefore, to prevent this great probability, holy people are forbidden from marrying unholy people.
Marriage Between A Holy Person And An Unholy
Person Is A Marriage Of Disobedience
Now, if a holy person marries an unholy person, is that a union that Yahweh has effected?
It should be very clear that as Yahweh has expressly forbidden his holy people from marrying unholy people, such a marriage between a holy person and an unholy person is CONTRARY to Yahweh's word. Such a marriage is one of disobedience, and the children born out of such a marriage are children of disobedience.
Marriages Of Disobedience Should Be Severed
Seeing that such a marriage is one of disobedience, the holy person who has married an unholy person should SEVER the marriage. For by so severing such a marriage the holy person repents of his or her disobedience.
Several Marriages Of Disobedience Severed During
Ezra's Time
Ezra 9:1-10:44 reads,
9:1Now
when these things were done, the princes drew near to me, saying, "The
people of Yisra'el, and the Kohanim and the Levites, have not separated
themselves from the peoples of the lands, doing according to their
abominations, even of the Kana`anim, the Chitti, the Perizzi, the Yevusi, the
`Ammonim, the Mo`avim, the Mitzrim, and the Amori. 9:2For they have taken of their daughters for themselves and
for their sons, so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the peoples
of the lands: yes, the hand of the princes and rulers has been chief in this
trespass."
9:3When
I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked off the hair of
my head and of my beard, and sat down confounded. 9:4Then
were assembled to me everyone who trembled at the words of the Mighty One of
Yisra'el, because of the trespass of them of the captivity; and I sat
confounded until the evening offering. 9:5At
the evening offering I arose up from my humiliation, even with my garment and
my robe torn; and I fell on my knees, and spread out my hands to Yahweh my
Mighty One; 9:6and I said, "my
Mighty One, I am ashamed and blush to lift up my face to you, my Mighty One;
for our iniquities are increased over our head, and our guiltiness is grown up
to the heavens. 9:7Since the days of
our fathers we have been exceeding guilty to this day; and for our iniquities
have we, our kings, and our Kohanim, been delivered into the hand of the kings
of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, and to plunder, and to confusion of
face, as it is this day. 9:8Now for
a little moment grace has been showed from Yahweh our Mighty One, to leave us a
remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our Mighty One
may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage. 9:9For we are bondservants; yet our Mighty One
has not forsaken us in our bondage, but has extended lovingkindness to us in
the sight of the kings of Paras, to give us a reviving, to set up the house of
our Mighty One, and to repair the ruins of it, and to give us a wall in Yahudah
and in Yerushalayim. 9:10Now, our
Mighty One, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your
commandments, 9:11which you have
commanded by your servants the prophets, saying, 'The land, to which you go to
possess it, is an unclean land through the uncleanness of the peoples of the
lands, through their abominations, which have filled it from one end to another
with their filthiness: 9:12now
therefore don't give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters
to your sons, nor seek their shalom or their prosperity forever; that you may
be strong, and eat the good of the land, and leave it for an inheritance to
your children forever.' 9:13After
all that is come on us for our evil deeds, and for our great guilt, seeing that
you our Mighty One have punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and have
given us such a remnant, 9:14shall
we again break your commandments, and join in affinity with the peoples that do
these abominations? Would not you be angry with us until you had consumed us,
so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape? 9:15Yahweh, the Mighty One of Yisra'el, you are
righteous; for we are left a remnant that is escaped, as it is this day:
behold, we are before you in our guiltiness; for none can stand before you
because of this."
10:1Now
while Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before
the house of the Mighty One, there was gathered together to him out of Yisra'el
a very great assembly of men and women and children; for the people wept very
sore. 10:2Shekhanyahu the son of
Yechi'el, one of the sons of `
10:5Then
arose Ezra, and made the chiefs of the Kohanim, the Levites, and all Yisra'el,
to swear that they would do according to this word. So they swore. 10:6Then Ezra rose up from before the house of
the Mighty One, and went into the chamber of Yehochanan the son of Elyashiv:
and when he came there, he ate no bread, nor drink water; for he mourned
because of the trespass of them of the captivity.
10:7They
made proclamation throughout Yahudah and Yerushalayim to all the children of
the captivity, that they should gather themselves together to Yerushalayim; 10:8and that whoever didn't come within three
days, according to the counsel of the princes and the Zakenim, all his
substance should be forfeited, and himself separated from the assembly of the
captivity. 10:9Then all the men of
Yahudah and Binyamin gathered themselves together to Yerushalayim within the
three days; it was the ninth month, on the twentieth day of the month: and all
the people sat in the broad place before the house of the Mighty One, trembling
because of this matter, and for the great rain.
10:10Ezra
the Kohen stood up, and said to them, "You have trespassed, and have
married foreign women, to increase the guilt of Yisra'el. 10:11Now therefore make confession to Yahweh,
the Mighty One of your fathers, and do his pleasure; and separate yourselves
from the peoples of the land, and from the foreign women."
10:12Then
all the assembly answered with a loud voice, "As you have said concerning
us, so must we do. 10:13But the
people are many, and it is a time of much rain, and we are not able to stand
outside: neither is this a work of one day or two; for we have greatly
transgressed in this matter. 10:14Let
now our princes be appointed for all the assembly, and let all those who are in
our cities who have married foreign women come at appointed times, and with
them the Zakenim of every city, and the judges of it, until the fierce wrath of
our Mighty One be turned from us, until this matter be dispatched." 10:15Only Yonatan the son of `Asa'el and
Yachzeyah the son of Tikvah stood up against this matter: and Meshullam and
Shabbetai the Levite helped them. 10:16The
children of the captivity did so. Ezra the Kohen, with certain heads of
fathers' houses, after their fathers' houses, and all of them by their names,
were set apart; and they sat down in the first day of the tenth month to
examine the matter. 10:17They made
an end with all the men who had married foreign women by the first day of the
first month.
10:18Among
the sons of the Kohanim there were found who had married foreign women: namely,
of the sons of Yeshua, the son of Yotzadak, and his brothers, Ma`aseyah, and
Eli`ezer, and Yariv, and Gedalyahu. 10:19They
gave their hand that they would put away their wives; and being guilty, they
offered a ram of the flock for their guilt. 10:20Of
the sons of Immer: Chanani and Zevadyah. 10:21Of
the sons of Charim: Ma`aseyah, and Eliyah, and Shemayahu, and Yechi'el, and
`Uzziyah. 10:22Of the sons of
Pashchur: Elya`enai, Ma`aseyah, Yishma'el, Netan'el, Yozavad, and El`asah. 10:23Of the Levites: Yozavad, and Shim`i, and
Kelayah (the same is Kelita), Petachyah, Yahudah, and Eli`ezer. 10:24Of the singers: Elyashiv. Of the porters:
Shallum, and Telem, and Uri. 10:25Of
Yisra'el: Of the sons of Par`
It should indeed be clear that those who marry contrary to Yahweh's word ARE REQUIRED to sever such marriages of disobedience. For it is by so severing such marriages of disobedience that those involved in them repent of their guilt of disobedience. And repent of it they must, if they desire to be upright before Yahweh!
Can A Father Validly Force His Daughter To Marry A
Particular Man?
Seeing that a father of an unmarried woman has authority to give her away in marriage, and her unmarried daughter cannot unilaterally give herself away in marriage to any man she chooses, is it the case that a father can FORCE her daughter to marry a man that she does not desire to marry?
Beresheet (Genesis) 24:1-67 reads,
24:1Avraham
was old, and well stricken in age. Yahweh had blessed Avraham in all things. 24:2Avraham said to his servant, the elder of
his house, who ruled over all that he had, "Please put your hand under my
thigh. 24:3I will make you swear by
Yahweh, the Mighty One of heaven and the Mighty One of the eretz, that you
shall not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Kana`anim, among whom
I live. 24:4But you shall go to my
country, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Yitzchak."
24:5The
servant said to him, "What if the woman isn't willing to follow me to
this land? Must I bring your son again to the land you came from?"
24:6Avraham
said to him, "Beware that you don't bring my son there again. 24:7Yahweh, the Mighty One of heaven, who took
me from my father's house, and from the land of my birth, who spoke to me, and
who swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land.' He will
send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. 24:8If the woman isn't willing to follow you,
then you shall be clear from this my oath. Only you shall not bring my son
there again."
24:9The
servant put his hand under the thigh of Avraham his master, and swore to him
concerning this matter. 24:10The
servant took ten camels, of his master's camels, and departed, having all
goodly things of his master's in his hand. He arose, and went to
Aram-Naharayim, to the city of
24:15It
happened, before he had done speaking, that behold, Rivka came out, who was
born to Betu'el the son of Milkah, the wife of Nachor, Avraham's brother, with
her pitcher on her shoulder. 24:16The
young lady was very beautiful to look at, a virgin, neither had any man known
her. She went down to the spring, filled her pitcher, and came up. 24:17The servant ran to meet her, and said,
"Please give me a drink, a little water from your pitcher."
24:18She
said, "Drink, my master." She hurried, and let down her pitcher on
her hand, and gave him drink. 24:19When
she had done giving him drink, she said, "I will also draw for your
camels, until they have done drinking." 24:20She
hurried, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again to the well to
draw, and drew for all his camels.
24:21The
man looked steadfastly at her, holding his shalom, to know whether Yahweh had
made his journey prosperous or not. 24:22It
happened, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden ring of
half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of
gold, 24:23and said, "Whose
daughter are you? Please tell me. Is there room in your father's house for us
to lodge in?"
24:24She
said to him, "I am the daughter of Betu'el the son of Milkah, whom she
bore to Nachor." 24:25She said
moreover to him, "We have both straw and provender enough, and room to
lodge in."
24:26The
man bowed his head, and worshiped Yahweh. 24:27He
said, "Blessed be Yahweh, the Mighty One of my master Avraham, who has not
forsaken his lovingkindness and his truth toward my master. As for me, Yahweh
has led me in the way to the house of my master's relatives."
24:28The
young lady ran, and told her mother's house about these words. 24:29Rivka had a brother, and his name was
Lavan. Lavan ran out to the man, to the spring. 24:30It
happened, when he saw the ring, and the bracelets on his sister's hands, and
when he heard the words of Rivka his sister, saying, "This is what the man
said to me," that he came to the man. Behold, he was standing by the
camels at the spring. 24:31He said,
"Come in, you blessed of Yahweh. Why do you stand outside? For I have
prepared the house, and room for the camels."
24:32The
man came into the house, and he unloaded the camels. He gave straw and
provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men
who were with him. 24:33Food was set
before him to eat. But he said, "I will not eat until I have told my
message."
He said, "Speak on."
24:34He
said, "I am Avraham's servant. 24:35Yahweh
has blessed my master greatly. He has become great. He has given him flocks and
herds, silver and gold, men-servants and maid-servants, and camels and donkeys.
24:36Sarah, my master's wife, bore a
son to my master when she was old. He has given all that he has to him. 24:37My master made me swear, saying, 'You
shall not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Kana`anim, in whose
land I live, 24:38but you shall go
to my father's house, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son.' 24:39I said to my master, 'What if the woman
will not follow me?' 24:40He
said to me, 'Yahweh, before whom I walk, will send his angel with you, and
prosper your way. You shall take a wife for my son of my relatives, and of my
father's house. 24:41Then will you
be clear from my oath, when you come to my relatives. If they don't give her
to you, you shall be clear from my oath.' 24:42I
came this day to the spring, and said, 'Yahweh, the Mighty One of my master
Avraham, if now you do prosper my way which I go. 24:43Behold,
I am standing by the spring of water. Let it happen, that the almah who comes
forth to draw, to whom I will say, 'Give me, I pray you, a little water from
your pitcher to drink. 24:44She will
tell me, "Drink, and I will also draw for your camels." Let the same
be the woman whom Yahweh has appointed for my master's son.' 24:45Before I had done speaking in my heart,
behold, Rivka came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder. She went down to the
spring, and drew. I said to her, 'Please let me drink.' 24:46She hurried and let down her pitcher from
her shoulder, and said, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.' So I
drank, and she made the camels drink also. 24:47I
asked her, and said, 'Whose daughter are you?' She said, 'The daughter of
Betu'el, Nachor's son, whom Milkah bare to him.' I put the ring on her nose,
and the bracelets on her hands. 24:48I
bowed my head, and worshiped Yahweh, and blessed Yahweh, the Mighty One of my
master Avraham, who had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's
daughter for his son. 24:49Now if
you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me. If not, tell me. That I
may turn to the right hand, or to the left."
24:50Then
Lavan and Betu'el answered, "The thing proceeds from Yahweh. We can't
speak to you bad or good. 24:51Behold,
Rivka is before you, take her, and go, and let her be your master's son's wife,
as Yahweh has spoken."
24:52It
happened that when Avraham's servant heard their words, he bowed himself down
to the eretz to Yahweh. 24:53The
servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and clothing, and
gave them to Rivka. He gave also to her brother and to her mother precious
things. 24:54They ate and drank, he
and the men who were with him, and stayed all night. They rose up in the
morning, and he said, "Send me away to my master."
24:55Her
brother and her mother said, "Let the young lady stay with us a few days,
at least ten. After that she will go."
24:56He
said to them, "Don't hinder me, seeing Yahweh has prospered my way. Send
me away that I may go to my master."
24:57They
said, "We will call the young lady, and ask her." 24:58They called Rivka, and said to her,
"Will you go with this man?"
She said, "I will go."
24:59They
sent away Rivka, their sister, with her nurse, Avraham's servant, and his men. 24:60They blessed Rivka, and said to her,
"Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousands, and let
your seed possess the gate of those who hate them."
24:61Rivka
arose with her ladies. They rode on the camels, and followed the man. The
servant took Rivka, and went his way. 24:62Yitzchak
came from the way of Be'er-Lachai-Ro'i. For he lived in the land of the South. 24:63Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field
at the evening. He lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, there were camels
coming. 24:64Rivka lifted up her
eyes, and when she saw Yitzchak, she dismounted from the camel. 24:65She said to the servant, "Who is the
man who is walking in the field to meet us?"
The servant said, "It is my master."
She took her veil, and covered herself. 24:66The servant told Yitzchak all the things
that he had done. 24:67Yitzchak
brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rivka, and she became his
wife. He loved her. Yitzchak was comforted after his mother's death.
A Woman Has Authority To Accept Or Reject A
Marriage Proposal To Her
24:5 and 24:8 clearly show that Avraham understood that a woman appointed to marry a particular man, even a woman so appointed by Yahweh, had the right to REFUSE to marry a man that her superiors had set for her.
A Father And His Daughter Have Joint Authority To
Accept Or Reject A Marriage Proposal To Her
24:39 and 24:41 also clearly show that Avraham understood that a woman's family had the right to REFUSE to give her away in marriage to a particular man. It is therefore evident that Avraham understood that authority to give a woman in marriage to a man is SHARED between the unmarried woman and her family. If either the woman or her family refuse the marriage to a particular man, that marriage is NOT VALID in Yahweh's eyes. Therefore, for marriage to be valid in Yahweh's eyes, BOTH the unmarried woman to be given in marriage, and her family, must JOINTLY agree to the marriage.
24:50-51 shows that the family's authority with respect to giving away an unmarried woman is vested in the head of household. It is therefore for a father to give away in marriage his daughter, and it is also for him to refuse to so give away in marriage his daughter.
Rivka's Family Understood And Honoured Her
Marriage Proposal's Rights
24:57-58 shows that Rivka's family also understood that Rivka indeed had authority to agree to or decline the marriage proposal that had been made concerning her. For they gave her the opportunity to accept or reject the marriage proposal.
It should therefore be evident that for a marriage to be valid in Yahweh's eyes BOTH an unmarried woman and her father MUST accept it. If either the unmarried woman or her father decline the marriage proposal it does not stand as a valid marriage in Yahweh's eyes.
A Woman Can Sever A Marriage She Was Forced Into
Without Her Acquiescence
Therefore, if a woman is forced into a marriage by her family, a marriage that she did not consent to, she can sever that marriage. For that marriage union was effected contrary to Yahweh's word, and was/is therefore a marriage of disobedience. In this case the disobedience being that of the woman's family and her purported husband.
What If A Woman's Father Is Dead?
What about the case of an unmarried woman whose father is no longer alive, being dead? Does she have sole authority to give herself in marriage to a man she chooses?
Bamidbar (Numbers) 26:28-34 reads,
26:28The
sons of Yosef after their families: Menashshe and Efrayim. 26:29The sons of Menashshe: of Makhir, the
family of the Makhiri; and Makhir became the father of Gil`ad; of Gil`ad, the
family of the Gil`adi. 26:30These
are the sons of Gil`ad: of I`ezer, the family of the I`ezri; of Chelek, the
family of the Chelki; 26:31and of
Asri'el, the family of the Asri'eli; and of Shekhem, the family of the Shikhmi;
26:32and of Shemida, the family of
the Shemida`i; and of Chefer, the family of the Chefri. 26:33Tzelohchad the son of Chefer had no
sons, but daughters: and the names of the daughters of Tzelohchad were Mahlach,
and No`ah, Choglah, Milkah, and Tirtzah. 26:34These
are the families of Menashshe; and those who were numbered of them were
fifty-two thousand seven hundred.
Bamidbar (Numbers) 27:1-11 reads,
27:1Then
drew near the daughters of Tzelohchad, the son of Chefer, the son of Gil`ad,
the son of Makhir, the son of Menashshe, of the families of Menashshe the son
of Yosef; and these are the names of his daughters: Machlah, Noach, and
Choglah, and Milkah, and Tirtzah. 27:2They
stood before Moshe, and before El`azar the Kohen, and before the princes and
all the congregation, at the door of the tent of meeting, saying, 27:3"Our father died in the wilderness,
and he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together
against Yahweh in the company of Korach: but he died in his own sin; and he had
no sons. 27:4Why should the name of
our father be taken away from among his family, because he had no son? Give to
us a possession among the brothers of our father." 27:5Moshe brought their cause before Yahweh. 27:6Yahweh spoke to Moshe, saying, 27:7"The daughters of Tzelohchad speak
right: you shall surely give them a possession of an inheritance among their
father's brothers; and you shall cause the inheritance of their father to pass
to them. 27:8You shall speak to the
children of Yisra'el, saying, 'If a man die, and have no son, then you shall
cause his inheritance to pass to his daughter. 27:9If
he has no daughter, then you shall give his inheritance to his brothers. 27:10If he has no brothers, then you shall give
his inheritance to his father's brothers. 27:11If
his father have no brothers, then you shall give his inheritance to his kinsman
who is next to him of his family, and he shall possess it: and it shall be to the
children of Yisra'el a statute and ordinance, as Yahweh commanded Moshe.'"
Bamidbar (Numbers) 36:1-12 reads,
36:1The
heads of the fathers' houses of the family of the children of Gil`ad, the son
of Makhir, the son of Menashshe, of the families of the sons of Yosef, came
near, and spoke before Moshe, and before the princes, the heads of the fathers'
houses of the children of Yisra'el: 36:2and
they said, "Yahweh commanded my master to give the land for inheritance by
lot to the children of Yisra'el: and my master was commanded by Yahweh to give
the inheritance of Tzelohchad our brother to his daughters. 36:3If they be married to any of the sons of
the other tribes of the children of Yisra'el, then will their inheritance be
taken away from the inheritance of our fathers, and will be added to the
inheritance of the tribe whereunto they shall belong: so will it be taken away
from the lot of our inheritance? 36:4When
the jubilee of the children of Yisra'el shall be, then will their inheritance
be added to the inheritance of the tribe whereunto they shall belong: so will
their inheritance be taken away from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers?"
36:5Moshe
commanded the children of Yisra'el according to the word of Yahweh, saying,
"The tribe of the sons of Yosef speaks right. 36:6This is the thing which Yahweh does command
concerning the daughters of Tzelohchad, saying, "Let them be married to
whom they think best; only into the family of the tribe of their father
shall they be married. 36:7So shall
no inheritance of the children of Yisra'el remove from tribe to tribe; for the
children of Yisra'el shall cleave everyone to the inheritance of the tribe of
his fathers. 36:8Every daughter, who
possesses an inheritance in any tribe of the children of Yisra'el, shall be
wife to one of the family of the tribe of her father, that the children of
Yisra'el may possess every man the inheritance of his fathers. 36:9So shall no inheritance remove from one
tribe to another tribe; for the tribes of the children of Yisra'el shall cleave
everyone to his own inheritance."
36:10Even
as Yahweh commanded Moshe, so did the daughters of Tzelohchad: 36:11for Machlah, Tirtzah, and Choglah, and
Milkah, and Noach, the daughters of Tzelohchad, were married to their father's
brothers' sons. 36:12They were
married into the families of the sons of Menashshe the son of Yosef; and their
inheritance remained in the tribe of the family of their father. 36:13These are the commandments and the
ordinances which Yahweh commanded by Moshe to the children of Yisra'el in the
plains of Mo'av by the Yarden at Yericho.
Yahweh Gives Fatherless Women Sole Authority To
Accept Or Decline Marriage Proposals To Them
36:6 clearly shows that where an unmarried woman's father is dead, Yahweh gives her the SOLE authority to marry whomever she chooses, provided she is compliant with other laws of Yahweh. In other words, once an unmarried woman's father is dead, she no longer jointly shares authority with respect to her marriage. She exercises this authority alone. Therefore, an unmarried woman whose father is dead can marry whomever she pleases. And such a marriage is valid in Yahweh's eyes, provided she does not violate other laws of Yahweh.
Widows Also Have Sole Authority To Accept Or
Decline Marriage Proposals To Them
The same principle applies to a widow. For once her husband is dead she is no longer married. And seeing that she has already left the authority of her father, having come into the authority of her husband at her time of marriage, she is no longer under a man's authority. She is like an unmarried daughter whose father is dead. A widow therefore has sole authority to marry whomever she chooses, without sharing this authority with someone else. Therefore any marriage she enters into is valid in Yahweh's eyes, provided she is compliant with other laws of Yahweh.
What about the situation that prevails today in many countries, where the laws of the land purport to remove a father's authority in the marriage of his daughter? For such laws deny fathers authority to have a say in the marriage of their daughters, giving the unmarried daughter sole authority with respect to her marriage, to the exclusion of her father. Are these laws that purport to remove the father's authority in the marriage of his daughter valid in Yahweh's eyes? Do human beings have authority to remove from one authority that Yahweh has given one?
Yahweh Has Not Diminished From His Law
Devarim (Deuteronomy) 4:2 reads,
4:2You
shall not add to the word which I command you, neither shall you diminish
from it, that you may keep the commandments of Yahweh your Mighty One which
I command you.
Devarim (Deuteronomy) 12:32 reads,
12:32Whatever
thing I command you, that shall you observe to do: you shall not add thereto, nor
diminish from it.
Mattityahu (Matthew) 5:17-19 reads,
5:17Don't think that I came to destroy the law or the prophets. I
didn't come to destroy, but to fulfill. 5:18For most
assuredly, I tell you, until Heaven and earth pass away, not even one smallest
letter or one tiny pen stroke shall in any way pass away from the law, until all things are accomplished. 5:19Whoever, therefore,
shall break one of these least commandments, and teach others to do so, shall
be called least in the Kingdom of Heaven; but whoever shall do and teach them
shall be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.
It should therefore be clear that Yahweh has not diminished from his law. It should also be clear that nothing will be diminished from Yahweh's law prior to the passing away of heaven and earth.
Therefore, the authority that Yahweh gave to fathers with respect to their daughters' marriages is still vested in them. Fathers, in Yahweh's eyes, continue to have authority to approve of or disapprove of marriage proposals concerning their daughters.
Therefore, any human law purporting to deny fathers their Yahweh-given authority to have a say in the marriage of their daughters is NULL AND VOID before Yahweh! For where there is a conflict of laws, between Yahweh's laws and human laws, it is Yahweh's laws that prevail. Fathers therefore continue to have a say in the marriages of their daughters, irrespective of whether or not their daughters acknowledge their Yahweh-given authority!
A Daughter's Marriage Devoid Of Her Father's
Consent Is Still Not Valid In Yahweh's Eyes
Therefore, if a daughter presumptuously gives herself in marriage without obtaining her father's approval, in a case whereby her father is alive, her marriage is not recognised as such by Yahweh. Even if she relies on human laws purporting to deny her father authority in her marriage, Yahweh still does not recognise her marriage.
Yahweh will only recognise her marriage to a man if it is Yahweh himself who gives her away in marriage to such a man, and her father refuses to agree to the marriage. Such as in a situation when her father insists that she marries in contravention to Yahweh's word. But if Yahweh does not overrule her father, she must indeed seek her father's approval for her marriage to be valid in Yahweh's eyes.
[April 2000 Addendum: Does A Holy Woman Need Her
Unholy Father's Consent To Ratify Her Marriage?
What about the situation that occurs whereby a woman is holy but her
father is unholy? Is her unholy father's consent necessary to give legal effect
to her marriage before Yahweh's eyes?
Mattityahu 8:21-22 reads,
8:21Another of the disciples said to him, "Master, allow me first to go and bury my father."
8:22But
Yah'shuah said to him, "Follow me, and leave
the dead to bury their own dead."
Yah'shuah's words to his disciple shows that his disciple, who was alive,
was to leave those who were dead to bury his dead father.
But how can a dead person bury another dead person? Does not the act of
burial require a living person to bury the dead person being buried?
It appears that Yah'shuah meant that his spiritually alive disciple was
to leave the spiritually dead to bury his physically dead father. His
spiritually alive disciple was to concern himself with activities pertaining to
spiritual living, such as following Yah'shuah.
In the situation referred to above, of a holy daughter and her unholy
father, it seems that the holy daughter is spiritually alive while her father
is spiritually dead, even as Yah'shuah's disciple was spiritually alive while
Yah'shuah's disciple's father was spiritually dead in addition to being
physically dead. For the disciple's father is presumed to have been spiritually
dead, seeing that Yah'shuah referred to the dead to bury him as those burying their
own dead, indicating that the disciple's father was spiritually dead even
as those to bury him.
Going back to the case of the daughters of Tzelohchad it should be noted
that those women whose fathers are dead have sole authority from Yahweh to
determine their marriage partner. It would appear that this principle holds for
those women who are spiritually alive but whose fathers are spiritually dead.
Their role is to do as Yah'shuah commanded his disciple, to follow Yah'shuah
rather than partake of activities pertaining to those who are spiritually dead.
Therefore in the context of marriage partner selection such spiritually alive
daughters have sole authority to determine who their marriage partners are.
They do not need their spiritually dead fathers approval to ratify their
marriages. Their own decisions in the matter are valid before Yahweh!]
Can Those Who Come Out Of Marriages Of
Disobedience Marry Again?
It should indeed be clear that some marriages of disobedience, that is marriages contrary to Yahweh's word, are NOT VALID in Yahweh's eyes. Seeing that these marriages are not valid in Yahweh's eyes, those engaged in them should SEVER them, and by so doing repenting of their disobedience.
Once they have repented of their disobedience they should assess whether they are free to marry, this time marrying in obedience to Yahweh's word. If they are free to marry they can indeed marry, marrying someone who can likewise be married to them.
Yah'shuah's words in Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9 are indeed clear on who can marry validly in Yahweh's eyes. Mattityahu (Matthew) 19:9 reads,
19:9I tell you that whoever will put away his wife, except
for sexual immorality, and will marry another, commits adultery; and he who
marries her when she is put away commits adultery.
A Validly Married Woman Cannot Validly Marry Again
While Her Husband Lives
It should be clear that a woman who was VALIDLY married in a marriage of obedience, but was subsequently put away from her husband because of her sexual immorality, CANNOT validly marry again. For she is still technically under the authority of her husband, even though not living with him.
A Man Wrongly Divorcing His Valid Wife Cannot
Validly Marry Again
A man who puts away his valid wife married in a marriage of obedience, putting her away on a ground other than sexual immorality (porneia), commits adultery. Also, his wrongly put away wife is still his wife in Yahweh's eyes. She cannot validly marry again, even though wrongly estranged from her husband, until such time as her husband dies.
A Woman Previously In A Marriage Of Disobedience
Can Validly Marry
A woman who was falsely married in a marriage of disobedience CAN validly marry in Yahweh's eyes. For, in Yahweh's eyes, she was not married while she was in her marriage of disobedience. And once she repents of her marriage of disobedience, by coming out of it, or being removed from it, she can indeed marry in a marriage of obedience.
A Man In A Marriage Of Disobedience Can Divorce
His Wife And Validly Marry
A man who was falsely married in a marriage of disobedience CAN divorce a woman falsely called his wife, and marry validly in Yahweh's eyes. For the woman he puts away is not his wife in Yahweh's eyes. He therefore does not commit adultery against her by putting her away, and marrying another woman in a marriage of obedience.
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© 1999-2000, Isaac Aluochier, All rights reserved. Published by Servants of Yahweh, P O Box 44848, Nairobi, 00100, Kenya. E-mail: servantsofyahweh@serveyahweh.org. Permission is hereby GRANTED to reproduce this and other publications in the Servants of Yahweh web site, http://www.serveyahweh.org, unless otherwise stated.