Divorcing and Marrying Again without Sinning
By Isaac Aluochier
All scriptural quotations are from the Hebrew Names Version of the World English Bible available at http://www.ebible.org/bible/hnv/.
Yah'shuah's Words On Marriage And Divorce
Mattityahu (Matthew) 5:31-32 reads,
5:31
"It was also said, 'Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce.' 5:32But I tell you that everyone who puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever shall marry her when she is put away commits adultery.It therefore appears that a husband is ALLOWED to put away his wife where she has been sexually immoral. Such a husband does not commit sin, of adultery, by so putting away his wife.
Mattityahu (Matthew) 19:3-9 reads,
19:3
Perushim came to him, testing him, and saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason?"19:4
He answered, "Haven't you read that he who made them from the beginning made them male and female, 19:5and said, 'For this cause will a man leave his father and mother, and will join to his wife; and the two will become one flesh?' 19:6So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore the Mighty One has joined together, don't let man tear apart." 19:7They asked him, "Why then did Moshe command us to give her a bill of divorce, and divorce her?" 19:8He said to them, "Moshe, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. 19:9I tell you that whoever will put away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and will marry another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is put away commits adultery."Man Has No Authority To Tear Apart Whatever Yahweh Unites
It should also be noted that man has NO AUTHORITY to tear apart whatever the Mighty One has joined together. Therefore, when the Mighty One has joined together in marriage a man and a woman, no human has the authority to tear apart that union. Any human being who purports to tear apart that marriage union commits adultery.
Can Man Tear Apart Unions That Yahweh Has Not Effected?
What about unions, including marriage unions, that the Mighty One has not joined together? Can man tear these apart?
Adulterous Marriages Should Be Severed
Both Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9 clearly show that it is possible for a man to marry a woman who has been put away. Nevertheless, these scriptures also show that such marriages are ADULTEROUS MARRIAGES!
Implying that though the sexually immoral wife has been put away from her husband, she is not allowed to marry again. Implying that she is still technically under the authority of her husband, even though put away from him! Also, a man who sexually lies with such a put away woman commits adultery, for she is still technically the wife of her husband, even though put away from him!
Therefore, a man who is married to such a put away woman is indeed in an adulterous marriage or relationship. This is a marriage that Yahweh has not effected, but has EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN! Not only can such a marriage be torn apart by man, it SHOULD be torn apart by man. For it is adultery, and violates Yahweh's law against adultery!
For Exodus 20:14 reads,
20:14
"You shall not commit adultery.Therefore, a man who is involved in such an adulterous marriage must put away the woman (wife) with whom he is living in adultery. For that woman is not really his wife, but is the wife of another man, even though she is put away from that other man. For a woman who is put away from a marriage effected by Yahweh is not allowed to marry again.
Severing An Adulterous Marriage Is Repentance
By such a man putting away such a wife he is NOT committing sin. In fact, he is repenting of sin - the sin of adultery, for he was "married" to or sexually lying with someone else's wife!
It should therefore be clear that marriages that human beings enter into that are not in harmony with Yahweh's word CAN BE SEVERED! And marriages that human beings enter into that are against Yahweh's word SHOULD BE SEVERED! For such severance of such marriages is actually repentance from sin.
A Father's Consent Is Necessary For A Daughter To Be Validly Married
Shemot (Exodus) 22:16-17 reads,
22:16
"If a man entices a virgin who isn't pledged to be married, and lies with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife. 22:17If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins.It should be noted that just because an unmarried woman gives herself over to a man sexually DOES NOT automatically mean that she becomes married to that man. For her father must give consent to her marriage to that man for her to be validly considered that man's wife. And where her father refuses to give her away in marriage to that man she is NOT MARRIED to that man!
What If A Daughter Does Not Submit To Her Father?
Now, she can rebel against her father's word, or ignore her father's word, and continue living with that man as if she was his wife. Nevertheless, in Yahweh's eyes, Yahweh did not effect her marriage to that man. For Yahweh did not authorise her marriage to that man, seeing that the woman showed contempt for the authority of her father in giving her away in marriage, authority that Yahweh specifically gave to her father.
And seeing that Yahweh has given an unmarried woman's father authority to refuse to ratify her marriage to a man, thereby voiding such an unratified marriage, it should be evident that a woman MUST obtain her father's consent before her marriage can be deemed valid in Yahweh's eyes. And prior to such ratification by her father she is indeed NOT MARRIED in Yahweh's eyes. Yahweh does not consider her relationship with such a man to be marriage, even though considered marriage at the level of human beings. And if Yahweh does not consider such a relationship marriage, what does he consider it?
Some Human Marriages Are In Fact Prostitution
It appears to me that such a relationship is termed prostitution, even though the woman does not have several men with whom she has sex.
It also appears to me that the children or seed from such a relationship are what Yahweh terms "children of disobedience" in Isaiah 57.
Yeshayahu (Isaiah) 57:1-5 reads,
57:1
The righteous perishes, and no man lays it to heart; and merciful men are taken away, none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. 57:2He enters into shalom; they rest in their beds, each one who walks in his uprightness. 57:3But draw near here, you sons of the sorceress, the seed of the adulterer and the prostitute. 57:4Against whom do you sport yourselves? Against whom make you a wide mouth, and put out the tongue? Aren't you children of disobedience, a seed of falsehood, 57:5you who inflame yourselves among the oaks, under every green tree; who kill the children in the valleys, under the clefts of the rocks?Yahweh terms "children of disobedience" those who are born through adultery or prostitution. For both adultery and prostitution are actions contrary to Yahweh's word. Therefore children born through adultery or prostitution are children of the disobedience of their parents, a seed of the falsehood of their parents!
Marriages Of Disobedience Should Be Severed
Seeing that Yahweh does not recognise as marriage the relationship of such a woman living with a man, a woman who did not obtain her father's consent to live in marriage with that man, such a relationship SHOULD BE SEVERED! For it is not a union that Yahweh effected, but a union effected contrary to Yahweh's word, in disobedience to Yahweh's word! Therefore, to repent of the disobedience, those engaged in such a relationship should sever it.
Holy People Forbidden From Marrying Unholy People
Devarim (Deuteronomy) 7:1-7 reads,
7:1
When Yahweh your Mighty One shall bring you into the land where you go to possess it, and shall cast out many nations before you, the Chittite, and the Girgashi, and the Amori, and the Kana`ani, and the Perizzi, and the Chivvi, and the Yevusi, seven nations greater and mightier than you; 7:2and when Yahweh your Mighty One shall deliver them up before you, and you shall strike them; then you shall utterly destroy them: you shall make no covenant with them, nor show mercy to them; 7:3neither shall you make marriages with them; your daughter you shall not give to his son, nor his daughter shall you take to your son. 7:4For he will turn away your son from following me, that they may serve other mighty ones: so will the anger of Yahweh be kindled against you, and he will destroy you quickly. 7:5But thus shall you deal with them: you shall break down their altars, and dash in pieces their pillars, and hew down their Asherim, and burn their engraved images with fire. 7:6For you are a holy people to Yahweh your Mighty One: Yahweh your Mighty One has chosen you to be a people for his own possession, above all peoples who are on the face of the earth.It should be clear that Yahweh forbids his holy people, those who faithfully worship him, from marrying those who are not holy, those who do not faithfully worship Yahweh. For if the holy people marry unholy people it is probable that the unholy ones will turn the holy ones from faithfully worshipping or serving Yahweh, eventually leading to the death of those who had been holy. Therefore, to prevent this great probability, holy people are forbidden from marrying unholy people.
Marriage Between A Holy Person And An Unholy Person Is A Marriage Of Disobedience
Now, if a holy person marries an unholy person, is that a union that Yahweh has effected?
It should be very clear that as Yahweh has expressly forbidden his holy people from marrying unholy people, such a marriage between a holy person and an unholy person is CONTRARY to Yahweh's word. Such a marriage is one of disobedience, and the children born out of such a marriage are children of disobedience.
Marriages Of Disobedience Should Be Severed
Seeing that such a marriage is one of disobedience, the holy person who has married an unholy person should SEVER the marriage. For by so severing such a marriage the holy person repents of his or her disobedience.
Several Marriages Of Disobedience Severed During Ezra's Time
Ezra 9:1-10:44 reads,
9:1
Now when these things were done, the princes drew near to me, saying, "The people of Yisra'el, and the Kohanim and the Levites, have not separated themselves from the peoples of the lands, doing according to their abominations, even of the Kana`anim, the Chitti, the Perizzi, the Yevusi, the `Ammonim, the Mo`avim, the Mitzrim, and the Amori. 9:2For they have taken of their daughters for themselves and for their sons, so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the peoples of the lands: yes, the hand of the princes and rulers has been chief in this trespass."9:3
When I heard this thing, I tore my garment and my robe, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down confounded. 9:4Then were assembled to me everyone who trembled at the words of the Mighty One of Yisra'el, because of the trespass of them of the captivity; and I sat confounded until the evening offering. 9:5At the evening offering I arose up from my humiliation, even with my garment and my robe torn; and I fell on my knees, and spread out my hands to Yahweh my Mighty One; 9:6and I said, "my Mighty One, I am ashamed and blush to lift up my face to you, my Mighty One; for our iniquities are increased over our head, and our guiltiness is grown up to the heavens. 9:7Since the days of our fathers we have been exceeding guilty to this day; and for our iniquities have we, our kings, and our Kohanim, been delivered into the hand of the kings of the lands, to the sword, to captivity, and to plunder, and to confusion of face, as it is this day. 9:8Now for a little moment grace has been showed from Yahweh our Mighty One, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our Mighty One may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage. 9:9For we are bondservants; yet our Mighty One has not forsaken us in our bondage, but has extended lovingkindness to us in the sight of the kings of Paras, to give us a reviving, to set up the house of our Mighty One, and to repair the ruins of it, and to give us a wall in Yahudah and in Yerushalayim. 9:10Now, our Mighty One, what shall we say after this? For we have forsaken your commandments, 9:11which you have commanded by your servants the prophets, saying, 'The land, to which you go to possess it, is an unclean land through the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands, through their abominations, which have filled it from one end to another with their filthiness: 9:12now therefore don't give your daughters to their sons, neither take their daughters to your sons, nor seek their shalom or their prosperity forever; that you may be strong, and eat the good of the land, and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.' 9:13After all that is come on us for our evil deeds, and for our great guilt, seeing that you our Mighty One have punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us such a remnant, 9:14shall we again break your commandments, and join in affinity with the peoples that do these abominations? Would not you be angry with us until you had consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape? 9:15Yahweh, the Mighty One of Yisra'el, you are righteous; for we are left a remnant that is escaped, as it is this day: behold, we are before you in our guiltiness; for none can stand before you because of this."10:1
Now while Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of the Mighty One, there was gathered together to him out of Yisra'el a very great assembly of men and women and children; for the people wept very sore. 10:2Shekhanyahu the son of Yechi'el, one of the sons of `Elam, answered Ezra, "We have trespassed against our Mighty One, and have married foreign women of the peoples of the land: yet now there is hope for Yisra'el concerning this thing. 10:3Now therefore let us make a covenant with our Mighty One to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them, according to the counsel of my master, and of those who tremble at the commandment of our Mighty One; and let it be done according to the law. 10:4Arise; for the matter belongs to you, and we are with you: be of good courage, and do it."10:5
Then arose Ezra, and made the chiefs of the Kohanim, the Levites, and all Yisra'el, to swear that they would do according to this word. So they swore. 10:6Then Ezra rose up from before the house of the Mighty One, and went into the chamber of Yehochanan the son of Elyashiv: and when he came there, he ate no bread, nor drink water; for he mourned because of the trespass of them of the captivity.10:7
They made proclamation throughout Yahudah and Yerushalayim to all the children of the captivity, that they should gather themselves together to Yerushalayim; 10:8and that whoever didn't come within three days, according to the counsel of the princes and the Zakenim, all his substance should be forfeited, and himself separated from the assembly of the captivity. 10:9Then all the men of Yahudah and Binyamin gathered themselves together to Yerushalayim within the three days; it was the ninth month, on the twentieth day of the month: and all the people sat in the broad place before the house of the Mighty One, trembling because of this matter, and for the great rain.10:10
Ezra the Kohen stood up, and said to them, "You have trespassed, and have married foreign women, to increase the guilt of Yisra'el. 10:11Now therefore make confession to Yahweh, the Mighty One of your fathers, and do his pleasure; and separate yourselves from the peoples of the land, and from the foreign women."10:12
Then all the assembly answered with a loud voice, "As you have said concerning us, so must we do. 10:13But the people are many, and it is a time of much rain, and we are not able to stand outside: neither is this a work of one day or two; for we have greatly transgressed in this matter. 10:14Let now our princes be appointed for all the assembly, and let all those who are in our cities who have married foreign women come at appointed times, and with them the Zakenim of every city, and the judges of it, until the fierce wrath of our Mighty One be turned from us, until this matter be dispatched." 10:15Only Yonatan the son of `Asa'el and Yachzeyah the son of Tikvah stood up against this matter: and Meshullam and Shabbetai the Levite helped them. 10:16The children of the captivity did so. Ezra the Kohen, with certain heads of fathers' houses, after their fathers' houses, and all of them by their names, were set apart; and they sat down in the first day of the tenth month to examine the matter. 10:17They made an end with all the men who had married foreign women by the first day of the first month.10:18
Among the sons of the Kohanim there were found who had married foreign women: namely, of the sons of Yeshua, the son of Yotzadak, and his brothers, Ma`aseyah, and Eli`ezer, and Yariv, and Gedalyahu. 10:19They gave their hand that they would put away their wives; and being guilty, they offered a ram of the flock for their guilt. 10:20Of the sons of Immer: Chanani and Zevadyah. 10:21Of the sons of Charim: Ma`aseyah, and Eliyah, and Shemayahu, and Yechi'el, and `Uzziyah. 10:22Of the sons of Pashchur: Elya`enai, Ma`aseyah, Yishma'el, Netan'el, Yozavad, and El`asah. 10:23Of the Levites: Yozavad, and Shim`i, and Kelayah (the same is Kelita), Petachyah, Yahudah, and Eli`ezer. 10:24Of the singers: Elyashiv. Of the porters: Shallum, and Telem, and Uri. 10:25Of Yisra'el: Of the sons of Par`osh: Ramyah, and Yizziyah, and Malkiyah, and Miyamin, and El`azar, and Malkiyah, and Benayah. 10:26Of the sons of `Elam: Mattanyah, Zekharyah, and Yechi'el, and `Avdi, and Yeremot, and Eliyah. 10:27Of the sons of Zattu: Elya`enai, Elyashiv, Mattanyah, and Yeremot, and Zavad, and Aziza. 10:28Of the sons of Bevai: Yehochanan, Chananyah, Zakkai, `Atlai. 10:29Of the sons of Bani: Meshullam, Mallukh, and `Ada'ya, Yashuv, and She'al, Yeremot. 10:30Of the sons of Pachat-Mo'av: `Adna, and Kelal, Benayah, Ma`aseyah, Mattanyah, Betzal'el, and Binnui, and Menashshe. 10:31of the sons of Charim: Eli`ezer, Yishshiyah, Malkiyah, Shemayahu, Shim`on, 10:32Binyamin, Mallukh, Shemaryahu. 10:33Of the sons of Chashum: Mattenai, Mattattah, Zavad, Elifelet, Yeremai, Menashshe, Shim`i. 10:34Of the sons of Bani: Ma`adai, `Amram, and U'el, 10:35Benayah, Bedeyah, Keluhu, 10:36Vanyah, Meremot, Elyashiv, 10:37Mattanyah, Mattenai, and Ya`asai, 10:38and Bani, and Binnui, Shim`i, 10:39and Shelemyahu, and Natan, and `Ada'ya, 10:40Makhnadvai, Shashai, Sharai, 10:41`Azar'el, and Shelemyahu, Shemaryahu, 10:42Shallum, Amaryah, Yosef. 10:43Of the sons of Nevo: Ye`i'el, Mattityah, Zavad, Zevina, Yaddai, and Yo'el, Benayah. 10:44All these had taken foreign wives; and some of them had wives by whom they had children.It should indeed be clear that those who marry contrary to Yahweh's word ARE REQUIRED to sever such marriages of disobedience. For it is by so severing such marriages of disobedience that those involved in them repent of their guilt of disobedience. And repent of it they must, if they desire to be upright before Yahweh!
Can A Father Validly Force His Daughter To Marry A Particular Man?
Seeing that a father of an unmarried woman has authority to give her away in marriage, and her unmarried daughter cannot unilaterally give herself away in marriage to any man she chooses, is it the case that a father can FORCE her daughter to marry a man that she does not desire to marry?
Beresheet (Genesis) 24:1-67 reads,
24:1
Avraham was old, and well stricken in age. Yahweh had blessed Avraham in all things. 24:2Avraham said to his servant, the elder of his house, who ruled over all that he had, "Please put your hand under my thigh. 24:3I will make you swear by Yahweh, the Mighty One of heaven and the Mighty One of the eretz, that you shall not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Kana`anim, among whom I live. 24:4But you shall go to my country, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Yitzchak."24:5
The servant said to him, "What if the woman isn't willing to follow me to this land? Must I bring your son again to the land you came from?"24:6
Avraham said to him, "Beware that you don't bring my son there again. 24:7Yahweh, the Mighty One of heaven, who took me from my father's house, and from the land of my birth, who spoke to me, and who swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land.' He will send his angel before you, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. 24:8If the woman isn't willing to follow you, then you shall be clear from this my oath. Only you shall not bring my son there again."24:9
The servant put his hand under the thigh of Avraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter. 24:10The servant took ten camels, of his master's camels, and departed, having all goodly things of his master's in his hand. He arose, and went to Aram-Naharayim, to the city of Nachor. 24:11He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at the time of evening, the time that women go out to draw water. 24:12He said, "Yahweh, the Mighty One of my master Avraham, please give me success this day, and show kindness to my master Avraham. 24:13Behold, I am standing by the spring of water. The daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water. 24:14Let it happen, that the young lady to whom I will say, 'Please let down your pitcher, that I may drink.' She will say, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.' Let the same be she who you have appointed for your servant Yitzchak. Thereby will I know that you have showed kindness to my master."24:15
It happened, before he had done speaking, that behold, Rivka came out, who was born to Betu'el the son of Milkah, the wife of Nachor, Avraham's brother, with her pitcher on her shoulder. 24:16The young lady was very beautiful to look at, a virgin, neither had any man known her. She went down to the spring, filled her pitcher, and came up. 24:17The servant ran to meet her, and said, "Please give me a drink, a little water from your pitcher."24:18
She said, "Drink, my master." She hurried, and let down her pitcher on her hand, and gave him drink. 24:19When she had done giving him drink, she said, "I will also draw for your camels, until they have done drinking." 24:20She hurried, and emptied her pitcher into the trough, and ran again to the well to draw, and drew for all his camels.24:21
The man looked steadfastly at her, holding his shalom, to know whether Yahweh had made his journey prosperous or not. 24:22It happened, as the camels had done drinking, that the man took a golden ring of half a shekel weight, and two bracelets for her hands of ten shekels weight of gold, 24:23and said, "Whose daughter are you? Please tell me. Is there room in your father's house for us to lodge in?"24:24
She said to him, "I am the daughter of Betu'el the son of Milkah, whom she bore to Nachor." 24:25She said moreover to him, "We have both straw and provender enough, and room to lodge in."24:26
The man bowed his head, and worshiped Yahweh. 24:27He said, "Blessed be Yahweh, the Mighty One of my master Avraham, who has not forsaken his lovingkindness and his truth toward my master. As for me, Yahweh has led me in the way to the house of my master's relatives."24:28
The young lady ran, and told her mother's house about these words. 24:29Rivka had a brother, and his name was Lavan. Lavan ran out to the man, to the spring. 24:30It happened, when he saw the ring, and the bracelets on his sister's hands, and when he heard the words of Rivka his sister, saying, "This is what the man said to me," that he came to the man. Behold, he was standing by the camels at the spring. 24:31He said, "Come in, you blessed of Yahweh. Why do you stand outside? For I have prepared the house, and room for the camels."24:32
The man came into the house, and he unloaded the camels. He gave straw and provender for the camels, and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men who were with him. 24:33Food was set before him to eat. But he said, "I will not eat until I have told my message."He said, "Speak on."
24:34
He said, "I am Avraham's servant. 24:35Yahweh has blessed my master greatly. He has become great. He has given him flocks and herds, silver and gold, men-servants and maid-servants, and camels and donkeys. 24:36Sarah, my master's wife, bore a son to my master when she was old. He has given all that he has to him. 24:37My master made me swear, saying, 'You shall not take a wife for my son of the daughters of the Kana`anim, in whose land I live, 24:38but you shall go to my father's house, and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son.' 24:39I said to my master, 'What if the woman will not follow me?' 24:40He said to me, 'Yahweh, before whom I walk, will send his angel with you, and prosper your way. You shall take a wife for my son of my relatives, and of my father's house. 24:41Then will you be clear from my oath, when you come to my relatives. If they don't give her to you, you shall be clear from my oath.' 24:42I came this day to the spring, and said, 'Yahweh, the Mighty One of my master Avraham, if now you do prosper my way which I go. 24:43Behold, I am standing by the spring of water. Let it happen, that the almah who comes forth to draw, to whom I will say, 'Give me, I pray you, a little water from your pitcher to drink. 24:44She will tell me, "Drink, and I will also draw for your camels." Let the same be the woman whom Yahweh has appointed for my master's son.' 24:45Before I had done speaking in my heart, behold, Rivka came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder. She went down to the spring, and drew. I said to her, 'Please let me drink.' 24:46She hurried and let down her pitcher from her shoulder, and said, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink.' So I drank, and she made the camels drink also. 24:47I asked her, and said, 'Whose daughter are you?' She said, 'The daughter of Betu'el, Nachor's son, whom Milkah bare to him.' I put the ring on her nose, and the bracelets on her hands. 24:48I bowed my head, and worshiped Yahweh, and blessed Yahweh, the Mighty One of my master Avraham, who had led me in the right way to take my master's brother's daughter for his son. 24:49Now if you will deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me. If not, tell me. That I may turn to the right hand, or to the left."24:50
Then Lavan and Betu'el answered, "The thing proceeds from Yahweh. We can't speak to you bad or good. 24:51Behold, Rivka is before you, take her, and go, and let her be your master's son's wife, as Yahweh has spoken."24:52
It happened that when Avraham's servant heard their words, he bowed himself down to the eretz to Yahweh. 24:53The servant brought forth jewels of silver, and jewels of gold, and clothing, and gave them to Rivka. He gave also to her brother and to her mother precious things. 24:54They ate and drank, he and the men who were with him, and stayed all night. They rose up in the morning, and he said, "Send me away to my master."24:55
Her brother and her mother said, "Let the young lady stay with us a few days, at least ten. After that she will go."24:56
He said to them, "Don't hinder me, seeing Yahweh has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master."24:57
They said, "We will call the young lady, and ask her." 24:58They called Rivka, and said to her, "Will you go with this man?"She said, "I will go."
24:59
They sent away Rivka, their sister, with her nurse, Avraham's servant, and his men. 24:60They blessed Rivka, and said to her, "Our sister, may you be the mother of thousands of ten thousands, and let your seed possess the gate of those who hate them."24:61
Rivka arose with her ladies. They rode on the camels, and followed the man. The servant took Rivka, and went his way. 24:62Yitzchak came from the way of Be'er-Lachai-Ro'i. For he lived in the land of the South. 24:63Yitzchak went out to meditate in the field at the evening. He lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, there were camels coming. 24:64Rivka lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Yitzchak, she dismounted from the camel. 24:65She said to the servant, "Who is the man who is walking in the field to meet us?"The servant said, "It is my master."
She took her veil, and covered herself. 24:66The servant told Yitzchak all the things that he had done. 24:67Yitzchak brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rivka, and she became his wife. He loved her. Yitzchak was comforted after his mother's death.
A Woman Has Authority To Accept Or Reject A Marriage Proposal To Her
24:5 and 24:8 clearly show that Avraham understood that a woman appointed to marry a particular man, even a woman so appointed by Yahweh, had the right to REFUSE to marry a man that her superiors had set for her.
A Father And His Daughter Have Joint Authority To Accept Or Reject A Marriage Proposal To Her
24:39 and 24:41 also clearly show that Avraham understood that a woman's family had the right to REFUSE to give her away in marriage to a particular man. It is therefore evident that Avraham understood that authority to give a woman in marriage to a man is SHARED between the unmarried woman and her family. If either the woman or her family refuse the marriage to a particular man, that marriage is NOT VALID in Yahweh's eyes. Therefore, for marriage to be valid in Yahweh's eyes, BOTH the unmarried woman to be given in marriage, and her family, must JOINTLY agree to the marriage.
24:50-51 shows that the family's authority with respect to giving away an unmarried woman is vested in the head of household. It is therefore for a father to give away in marriage his daughter, and it is also for him to refuse to so give away in marriage his daughter.
Rivka's Family Understood And Honoured Her Marriage Proposal's Rights
24:57-58 shows that Rivka's family also understood that Rivka indeed had authority to agree to or decline the marriage proposal that had been made concerning her. For they gave her the opportunity to accept or reject the marriage proposal.
It should therefore be evident that for a marriage to be valid in Yahweh's eyes BOTH an unmarried woman and her father MUST accept it. If either the unmarried woman or her father decline the marriage proposal it does not stand as a valid marriage in Yahweh's eyes.
A Woman Can Sever A Marriage She Was Forced Into Without Her Acquiescence
Therefore, if a woman is forced into a marriage by her family, a marriage that she did not consent to, she can sever that marriage. For that marriage union was effected contrary to Yahweh's word, and was/is therefore a marriage of disobedience. In this case the disobedience being that of the woman's family and her purported husband.
What If A Woman's Father Is Dead?
What about the case of an unmarried woman whose father is no longer alive, being dead? Does she have sole authority to give herself in marriage to a man she chooses?
Bamidbar (Numbers) 26:28-34 reads,
26:28
The sons of Yosef after their families: Menashshe and Efrayim. 26:29The sons of Menashshe: of Makhir, the family of the Makhiri; and Makhir became the father of Gil`ad; of Gil`ad, the family of the Gil`adi. 26:30These are the sons of Gil`ad: of I`ezer, the family of the I`ezri; of Chelek, the family of the Chelki; 26:31and of Asri'el, the family of the Asri'eli; and of Shekhem, the family of the Shikhmi; 26:32and of Shemida, the family of the Shemida`i; and of Chefer, the family of the Chefri. 26:33Tzelohchad the son of Chefer had no sons, but daughters: and the names of the daughters of Tzelohchad were Mahlach, and No`ah, Choglah, Milkah, and Tirtzah. 26:34These are the families of Menashshe; and those who were numbered of them were fifty-two thousand seven hundred.Bamidbar (Numbers) 27:1-11 reads,
27:1
Then drew near the daughters of Tzelohchad, the son of Chefer, the son of Gil`ad, the son of Makhir, the son of Menashshe, of the families of Menashshe the son of Yosef; and these are the names of his daughters: Machlah, Noach, and Choglah, and Milkah, and Tirtzah. 27:2They stood before Moshe, and before El`azar the Kohen, and before the princes and all the congregation, at the door of the tent of meeting, saying, 27:3"Our father died in the wilderness, and he was not among the company of those who gathered themselves together against Yahweh in the company of Korach: but he died in his own sin; and he had no sons. 27:4Why should the name of our father be taken away from among his family, because he had no son? Give to us a possession among the brothers of our father." 27:5Moshe brought their cause before Yahweh. 27:6Yahweh spoke to Moshe, saying, 27:7"The daughters of Tzelohchad speak right: you shall surely give them a possession of an inheritance among their father's brothers; and you shall cause the inheritance of their father to pass to them. 27:8You shall speak to the children of Yisra'el, saying, 'If a man die, and have no son, then you shall cause his inheritance to pass to his daughter. 27:9If he has no daughter, then you shall give his inheritance to his brothers. 27:10If he has no brothers, then you shall give his inheritance to his father's brothers. 27:11If his father have no brothers, then you shall give his inheritance to his kinsman who is next to him of his family, and he shall possess it: and it shall be to the children of Yisra'el a statute and ordinance, as Yahweh commanded Moshe.'"Bamidbar (Numbers) 36:1-12 reads,
36:1
The heads of the fathers' houses of the family of the children of Gil`ad, the son of Makhir, the son of Menashshe, of the families of the sons of Yosef, came near, and spoke before Moshe, and before the princes, the heads of the fathers' houses of the children of Yisra'el: 36:2and they said, "Yahweh commanded my master to give the land for inheritance by lot to the children of Yisra'el: and my master was commanded by Yahweh to give the inheritance of Tzelohchad our brother to his daughters. 36:3If they be married to any of the sons of the other tribes of the children of Yisra'el, then will their inheritance be taken away from the inheritance of our fathers, and will be added to the inheritance of the tribe whereunto they shall belong: so will it be taken away from the lot of our inheritance? 36:4When the jubilee of the children of Yisra'el shall be, then will their inheritance be added to the inheritance of the tribe whereunto they shall belong: so will their inheritance be taken away from the inheritance of the tribe of our fathers?"36:5
Moshe commanded the children of Yisra'el according to the word of Yahweh, saying, "The tribe of the sons of Yosef speaks right. 36:6This is the thing which Yahweh does command concerning the daughters of Tzelohchad, saying, "Let them be married to whom they think best; only into the family of the tribe of their father shall they be married. 36:7So shall no inheritance of the children of Yisra'el remove from tribe to tribe; for the children of Yisra'el shall cleave everyone to the inheritance of the tribe of his fathers. 36:8Every daughter, who possesses an inheritance in any tribe of the children of Yisra'el, shall be wife to one of the family of the tribe of her father, that the children of Yisra'el may possess every man the inheritance of his fathers. 36:9So shall no inheritance remove from one tribe to another tribe; for the tribes of the children of Yisra'el shall cleave everyone to his own inheritance."36:10
Even as Yahweh commanded Moshe, so did the daughters of Tzelohchad: 36:11for Machlah, Tirtzah, and Choglah, and Milkah, and Noach, the daughters of Tzelohchad, were married to their father's brothers' sons. 36:12They were married into the families of the sons of Menashshe the son of Yosef; and their inheritance remained in the tribe of the family of their father. 36:13These are the commandments and the ordinances which Yahweh commanded by Moshe to the children of Yisra'el in the plains of Mo'av by the Yarden at Yericho.Yahweh Gives Fatherless Women Sole Authority To Accept Or Decline Marriage Proposals To Them
36:6 clearly shows that where an unmarried woman's father is dead, Yahweh gives her the SOLE authority to marry whomever she chooses, provided she is compliant with other laws of Yahweh. In other words, once an unmarried woman's father is dead, she no longer jointly shares authority with respect to her marriage. She exercises this authority alone. Therefore, an unmarried woman whose father is dead can marry whomever she pleases. And such a marriage is valid in Yahweh's eyes, provided she does not violate other laws of Yahweh.
Widows Also Have Sole Authority To Accept Or Decline Marriage Proposals To Them
The same principle applies to a widow. For once her husband is dead she is no longer married. And seeing that she has already left the authority of her father, having come into the authority of her husband at her time of marriage, she is no longer under a man's authority. She is like an unmarried daughter whose father is dead. A widow therefore has sole authority to marry whomever she chooses, without sharing this authority with someone else. Therefore any marriage she enters into is valid in Yahweh's eyes, provided she is compliant with other laws of Yahweh.
What about the situation that prevails today in many countries, where the laws of the land purport to remove a father's authority in the marriage of his daughter? For such laws deny fathers authority to have a say in the marriage of their daughters, giving the unmarried daughter sole authority with respect to her marriage, to the exclusion of her father. Are these laws that purport to remove the father's authority in the marriage of his daughter valid in Yahweh's eyes? Do human beings have authority to remove from one authority that Yahweh has given one?
Yahweh Has Not Diminished From His Law
Devarim (Deuteronomy) 4:2 reads,
4:2
You shall not add to the word which I command you, neither shall you diminish from it, that you may keep the commandments of Yahweh your Mighty One which I command you.Devarim (Deuteronomy) 12:32 reads,
12:32
Whatever thing I command you, that shall you observe to do: you shall not add thereto, nor diminish from it.Mattityahu (Matthew) 5:17-19 reads,
5:17
Don't think that I came to destroy the law or the prophets. I didn't come to destroy, but to fulfill. 5:18For most assuredly, I tell you, until Heaven and earth pass away, not even one smallest letter or one tiny pen stroke shall in any way pass away from the law, until all things are accomplished. 5:19Whoever, therefore, shall break one of these least commandments, and teach others to do so, shall be called least in the Kingdom of Heaven; but whoever shall do and teach them shall be called great in the Kingdom of Heaven.It should therefore be clear that Yahweh has not diminished from his law. It should also be clear that nothing will be diminished from Yahweh's law prior to the passing away of heaven and earth.
Therefore, the authority that Yahweh gave to fathers with respect to their daughters' marriages is still vested in them. Fathers, in Yahweh's eyes, continue to have authority to approve of or disapprove of marriage proposals concerning their daughters.
Therefore, any human law purporting to deny fathers their Yahweh-given authority to have a say in the marriage of their daughters is NULL AND VOID before Yahweh! For where there is a conflict of laws, between Yahweh's laws and human laws, it is Yahweh's laws that prevail. Fathers therefore continue to have a say in the marriages of their daughters, irrespective of whether or not their daughters acknowledge their Yahweh-given authority!
A Daughter's Marriage Devoid Of Her Father's Consent Is Still Not Valid In Yahweh's Eyes
Therefore, if a daughter presumptuously gives herself in marriage without obtaining her father's approval, in a case whereby her father is alive, her marriage is not recognised as such by Yahweh. Even if she relies on human laws purporting to deny her father authority in her marriage, Yahweh still does not recognise her marriage.
Yahweh will only recognise her marriage to a man if it is Yahweh himself who gives her away in marriage to such a man, and her father refuses to agree to the marriage. Such as in a situation when her father insists that she marries in contravention to Yahweh's word. But if Yahweh does not overrule her father, she must indeed seek her father's approval for her marriage to be valid in Yahweh's eyes.
[April 2000 Addendum: Does A Holy Woman Need Her Unholy Father's Consent To Ratify Her Marriage?
What about the situation that occurs whereby a woman is holy but her father is unholy? Is her unholy father's consent necessary to give legal effect to her marriage before Yahweh's eyes?
Mattityahu 8:21-22 reads,
8:21
Another of the disciples said to him, "Master, allow me first to go and bury my father."8:22
But Yah'shuah said to him, "Follow me, and leave the dead to bury their own dead."Yah'shuah's words to his disciple shows that his disciple, who was alive, was to leave those who were dead to bury his dead father.
But how can a dead person bury another dead person? Does not the act of burial require a living person to bury the dead person being buried?
It appears that Yah'shuah meant that his spiritually alive disciple was to leave the spiritually dead to bury his physically dead father. His spiritually alive disciple was to concern himself with activities pertaining to spiritual living, such as following Yah'shuah.
In the situation referred to above, of a holy daughter and her unholy father, it seems that the holy daughter is spiritually alive while her father is spiritually dead, even as Yah'shuah's disciple was spiritually alive while Yah'shuah's disciple's father was spiritually dead in addition to being physically dead. For the disciple's father is presumed to have been spiritually dead, seeing that Yah'shuah referred to the dead to bury him as those burying their own dead, indicating that the disciple's father was spiritually dead even as those to bury him.
Going back to the case of the daughters of Tzelohchad it should be noted that those women whose fathers are dead have sole authority from Yahweh to determine their marriage partner. It would appear that this principle holds for those women who are spiritually alive but whose fathers are spiritually dead. Their role is to do as Yah'shuah commanded his disciple, to follow Yah'shuah rather than partake of activities pertaining to those who are spiritually dead. Therefore in the context of marriage partner selection such spiritually alive daughters have sole authority to determine who their marriage partners are. They do not need their spiritually dead fathers approval to ratify their marriages. Their own decisions in the matter are valid before Yahweh!]
Can Those Who Come Out Of Marriages Of Disobedience Marry Again?
It should indeed be clear that some marriages of disobedience, that is marriages contrary to Yahweh's word, are NOT VALID in Yahweh's eyes. Seeing that these marriages are not valid in Yahweh's eyes, those engaged in them should SEVER them, and by so doing repenting of their disobedience.
Once they have repented of their disobedience they should assess whether they are free to marry, this time marrying in obedience to Yahweh's word. If they are free to marry they can indeed marry, marrying someone who can likewise be married to them.
Yah'shuah's words in Matthew 5:31-32 and Matthew 19:3-9 are indeed clear on who can marry validly in Yahweh's eyes. Mattityahu (Matthew) 19:9 reads,
19:9
I tell you that whoever will put away his wife, except for sexual immorality, and will marry another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is put away commits adultery.A Validly Married Woman Cannot Validly Marry Again While Her Husband Lives
It should be clear that a woman who was VALIDLY married in a marriage of obedience, but was subsequently put away from her husband because of her sexual immorality, CANNOT validly marry again. For she is still technically under the authority of her husband, even though not living with him.
A Man Wrongly Divorcing His Valid Wife Cannot Validly Marry Again
A man who puts away his valid wife married in a marriage of obedience, putting her away on a ground other than sexual immorality (porneia), commits adultery. Also, his wrongly put away wife is still his wife in Yahweh's eyes. She cannot validly marry again, even though wrongly estranged from her husband, until such time as her husband dies.
A Woman Previously In A Marriage Of Disobedience Can Validly Marry
A woman who was falsely married in a marriage of disobedience CAN validly marry in Yahweh's eyes. For, in Yahweh's eyes, she was not married while she was in her marriage of disobedience. And once she repents of her marriage of disobedience, by coming out of it, or being removed from it, she can indeed marry in a marriage of obedience.
A Man In A Marriage Of Disobedience Can Divorce His Wife And Validly Marry
A man who was falsely married in a marriage of disobedience CAN divorce a woman falsely called his wife, and marry validly in Yahweh's eyes. For the woman he puts away is not his wife in Yahweh's eyes. He therefore does not commit adultery against her by putting her away, and marrying another woman in a marriage of obedience.
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