"Remarriage" of a Woman
By Isaac Aluochier
[Author's note: The following segmented article is my slightly edited portion of a conversation with a fellow believer on the matter of remarriage of a woman.]
Author's comments as of August 1999 are shown in italic print.
Dear Brother
Thanks very much for responding so quickly to my emails to you.
Having read a good chunk of the stuff posted on your site, probably over 90% of the stuff, I conclude that we are indeed brothers in Messiah. Praise Yahweh. The stuff you have posted on the site is TRUTH!
Are Marriages Of Unbelievers Valid Before Yahweh?
I have a small question requiring clarification. It stems from your reply to a former tabernacle attendee in the section on "Trial" in one of the chapters. You responded to him that you did not think that he was an adulterer. I got the impression that his first wife had left him and that his second wife had been "wife" to some other man prior to being this man's wife. You responded to the effect that "marriages" prior to one accepting Messiah are in effect fornication, and not valid before Yahweh. If I have understood you correctly (and I may not have, as I was speed-reading the entire site to check out your standing with the word of Yahweh before delving deeper), is this to mean that "marriages" by those who are not in Messiah not really valid as such before Yahweh? And if not, why not?
I am under the impression that any marriage, whether or not involving a believer, that has not violated Yahweh's will, especially his law against adultery, is valid before him. His law is his law, and is applicable to all, irrespective of whether one is a believer or not.
Therefore, if an unbelieving woman is married to a man, that marriage of hers is valid, and she is not fornicating - assuming that the man who marries her is not violating Yahweh's law against adultery in marrying her. As long as this man is alive, she cannot lawfully - Yahweh's law - marry another man, as she is bound to her first and living husband as long as he is alive. Even if he divorces her, validly or invalidly under Yahweh's law against adultery, she is still not allowed to "marry" another man. If the divorce was invalid before Yahweh's law, then she may be reconciled to her husband, if he is willing to be so reconciled. If the divorce was valid, due to her adultery, she is to live out the rest of her days as a single woman partaking not in any sexual relationship with anyone.
If, after her divorce, she becomes a believer, though her past sins are forgiven her, including any adultery on her part, Yahweh's law that she marry not again while her husband lives is still not negated. Her sins are forgiven with respect to her salvation. But the law barring her from marrying another man while her first and only valid husband is alive still stands. Therefore, even though she is now a believer, she is still not to marry while her husband lives - for such a relationship would still be adultery. She is therefore to live as a single woman.
In this regard she should ask Yahweh, in faith, to supply her with sufficient of the Holy Spirit fruit of self-control. This will enable her to so live as a single person without committing fornication (adultery), dedicating herself to serving Yahweh exclusively, without the distraction of also serving a husband. In this manner she will live an exemplary life as a believer who does not engage herself in adultery, for she will remain faithful to Yahweh's law that a wife marry not another man while her first husband is alive.
I await your comments….
In Yah'shuah Messiah's Love
ISAAC
August 1999 View: When Does The Marriage Of A Woman To A Man End?
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 reads,
24:1
When a man takes a wife, and marries her, then it shall be, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found some unseemly thing in her, that he shall write her a bill of divorce, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 24:2When she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. 24:3If the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorce, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, who took her to be his wife; 24:4her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before Yahweh: and you shall not cause the land to sin, which Yahweh your God gives you for an inheritance.24:2 clearly shows that a woman given a bill of divorce may become the wife of another man, after her first husband has divorced her. A divorced woman is therefore not consigned to a life of singlehood, but may live a married life.
Matthew 5:31-32 reads,
5:31
"It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce,’ 5:32but I tell you that whoever who puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.A woman put away from her husband without being given a bill of divorce is still the wife of her husband, despite being estranged from him. She must not marry or have sex with another while in her estranged state. For so having sex with another man not her husband is adultery.
It therefore appears that a woman's marriage to a man can end in divorce, evidenced by the woman's husband issuing her with a bill of divorce on the ground of her committing sexual immorality (Gk. 'porneia'). If she has not committed 'porneia' then any divorce on her husband's part is null and void, and she remains her husbands, and must therefore not marry or have sex with another man. For so marrying or having sex with another man without being issued with a valid divorce is adultery on her part.
Dear Brother
GREETINGS in Yahweh and Yah'shuah the Messiah! It was a pleasure to read from you after quite some time. It seemed so long as I had earnestly been waiting for your lengthy reply to my "'Remarriage' of a Woman" question.
It is very evident that you put in plenty of hard work and time in putting together your answer to me. It is also very evident that you come across as a sincere and humble man who freely acknowledges his sins. In fact, your sincerity and truth floors me! For these I am grateful to Yahweh and praise him.
There was much that I agreed with in your answer. Nevertheless I do not endorse everything you said. It therefore appears that our conversation on this matter continues.
I will not address the areas of mutual agreement, for you eloquently put these across. I will therefore address only the two or three areas that I do not, at present, endorse.
When Does Marriage Take Place?
WHEN does marriage take place? At consummation between a man and a woman, a woman given away in marriage to the man by her father? At the time a woman is given away in marriage to a man by her father, prior to consummation? What about the case of a woman who does not have a man over her, such as a widow or her whose father is dead, though she is not married? At the time such a woman gives herself over to a man as his wife?
Though a number of scriptures address this matter, I will refer to Mattityahu (Matthew) 1: 18-25.
Miryam Considered Married To Yosef Prior To Consummation
It is clearly evident that Miryam was betrothed to Yosef, yet they had not consummated their marriage through sexual union. Miryam was clearly referred to as Yosef's wife and Yosef was clearly referred to Miryam's husband - prior to consummation of their marriage. Even the angel of Yahweh who appeared to Yosef in the dream referred to Miryam as Yosef's wife. It is therefore the case that marriage does indeed take place at the time a woman is given in marriage to a man, by one so capable of giving her in marriage, whether or not consummation of that marriage has taken place.
What Determines Timing Of Marriage
Consummation is therefore not the determining factor of the commencement of a marriage, but the giving away in marriage of the woman. From then on she is that man's betrothed - the man to whom she has been given.
It might also be useful to note Yah'shuah's words in Mattityahu (Matthew) 24: 38 and Luke 17: 27. He said, in reference to the time just prior to his return, that humans would be "marrying and giving in marriage", just as they did during Noach's time. Also, in Mattityahu (Matthew) 22: 30, Mark 12: 25 and Luke 20: 35 Yah'shuah mentioned that in the resurrection "marrying and giving in marriage" would not take place, for humans would then be like angels, who neither "marry" nor are "given in marriage". Thus, from Yah'shuah's words, being "given in marriage" is significant, for it appears to mark the time when the marriage of a woman to a man commences.
Yah'shuah Recognised The Validity Of Marriages Of Unbelievers
It should also be noted that the marrying and giving in marriage that took place in Noach's time was predominantly among unbelievers. For the only believers who might be noted were Noach and his household. Therefore Yah'shuah apparently recognised the validity of the marriages of unbelievers in Noach's time, for he acknowledged that they married and gave in marriage. One therefore ought not to say that marriages amongst unbelievers are invalid before Yahweh. Some of these marriages are valid before him, while others are not. Those not valid are those that violate his laws.
It should also be noted that in Yisrael, even though a man raped an unmarried woman, and even though he was required to take that woman he had raped as his wife if the woman's father did not object, if the father objected to this rapist taking his daughter in marriage the rapist was not considered the woman's husband. In other words, even though sexual union between the man and the woman had already taken place, if the father of the woman had not yet given his daughter in marriage to the rapist, no marriage was considered to have taken place. Marriage therefore took place at the time the woman was given in marriage by one so capable of giving her in marriage - meaning her father. Please refer to Shemot (Exodus) 22: 16-17 and Beresheet (Genesis) 34: 1-31.
Yaakov's Marriage To Leah Considered Valid Before Yahweh
In the matter of Yaakov, Leah, Rachel and Lavan, the women's father, it should be noted that after Yaakov's first seven years of service, the woman he was given in marriage by Lavan was not Rachel, whom he thought he would be given in marriage, but Leah. And his marriage to Leah was legally valid before Yahweh, for her father had given her in marriage to Yaakov and Yaakov had consummated that marriage through sexual union with her, even though he thought that it was with Rachel that he consummated the marriage until he realised otherwise. Rachel only became his wife after her father gave her, in turn, in marriage to him.
Sexual Union Not Determinant Of Validity Of Marriage
It should therefore be clear that marriage commences when a woman is given in marriage to a man, and not by sexual union. For sexual union can take place between a man and an unmarried woman, yet that woman is not automatically made the man's wife by the sexual union, for she has not been given in marriage to the man by one so capable of giving her in marriage.
Who Gives Away In Marriage An Unmarried Woman With No Man In Authority Over Her?
What about unmarried women who do not have their fathers over them to give them in marriage to a man?
Yahweh's answer is found in Beresheet (Numbers) 36: 6. Such women should marry "whom they think best"! In other words, since such a woman is not under her father, as her father is dead, she can marry whomever she pleases, subject to compliance with other laws of Yahweh as applicable to her. Thus a widow, who is no longer under her father nor under her late husband, can also marry whomever she pleases, subject to compliance with other laws of Yahweh as applicable to her, as Shaul (Paul) explained in 1 Corinthians 7: 39.
It should therefore be clear that marriage takes place when a woman is given in marriage to a man, whether or not sexual intercourse between the man and the woman has taken place. It should also be clear that a woman who has no man in authority over her, meaning either her late father or her late husband, is married when she gives herself in marriage to a man. Marriage therefore takes place at the time one is given in marriage, by one so capable of giving in marriage, and not at the time of sexual union between a woman and a man.
August 1999 View: When Marriage Takes Place
There is a DISTINCTION between a woman being wife to a man, and the woman being married to the man. A woman who is wife to a man is a woman who has consented to be wife to that man, and her father, if applicable, has consented to her being wife to that man, provided also that the man has consented to take her as his wife. At this stage, when all the relevant parties have consented, but before sex has taken place between the woman and the man, she is his betrothed wife. When the man and the woman consummate their husband and wife relationship by sexual union they indeed marry. In other words, the marriage of a husband and a wife is commenced by their first sexual union after they are already husband and wife. For the relevant consents making them husband and wife must first have taken place prior to lawful sexual union or marriage between them.
I therefore equate the timing of marriage with the first sexual union between a husband and a wife. Meaning any sexual union between them prior to their becoming husband and wife is not marriage, but prostitution. But after they become husband and wife, noted by all relevant marriage consents being given, the first sexual union thereafter marks their marriage.
Is The Marriage Of An Adulterer And A Woman Valid Before Yahweh?
The second matter I want to address is the validity of the marriage of a woman who has "married" a man who is an adulterer at the time that man was an adulterer. Such as is the case when a man has wrongfully divorced his wife and marries another woman.
Broadness Of The Law Against Adultery
Yah'shuah's comments are that men who wrongfully divorce their wives and marry other women commit adultery. The adultery such men commit is not just that of putting their lawful wives in a situation whereby they are likely to commit adultery, but also that of marrying other women after they wrongfully put away their lawful wives. For a fuller exposition of this matter please see the article references at the end of this answer.
Marriage Of An Adulterer To Another Woman Void Before Yahweh
Therefore, if it is the case that an adulterer commits adultery by marrying another woman after illegally putting away his wife, then it must be the case that his marriage to the other woman is NOT legally valid. If it is not legally valid the other woman cannot be said to be legally married to the man, for Yahweh has not joined this other woman and the man in marriage. For if Yahweh had joined this other woman to the man, then the man would not be committing adultery in marrying her. But that Yahweh terms the man as committing adultery in marrying this other woman, this marriage is not sanctioned by him, and is therefore void before Yahweh.
Status Of Woman Marrying An Adulterer
The other woman is therefore an innocent victim in this matter, if she entered into this marriage without due knowledge of what has just been described. But if, despite knowing this, she went ahead with the "marriage", then she sins wilfully in the matter. Her relationship with the man is therefore one of harlotry, whether or not she is aware that it is harlotry.
August 1999 View: Is The Marriage Of An Adulterer And A Woman Valid Before Yahweh?
Matthew 19:7-9 reads,
19:7
They asked him, "Why then did Moses command us to give her a bill of divorce, and divorce her?"19:8
He said to them, "Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it has not been so. 19:9I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery."Adultery is committed when a man's wife has sex with another man. The only manner a man can commit adultery is by having sex with someone else's wife. If he has sex with a woman who is not the wife of another man then he does not commit adultery. If the woman he has sex with is unmarried then they both commit prostitution. If the woman he has sex with is his wife then no adultery or prostitution is committed. Therefore a man who takes a wife subsequent to any he already has, and marries her by sexual union, is not committing adultery if his new wife was unmarried prior to becoming his wife.
Matthew 5:31-32 reads,
5:31
"It was also said, ‘Whoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorce,’ 5:32but I tell you that whoever who puts away his wife, except for the cause of sexual immorality, makes her an adulteress; and whoever marries her when she is put away commits adultery.The manner a man who puts away his wife unjustly commits adultery is by being responsible for the adultery committed by the wife that he has unjustly put away. For unjustly putting her away places her in the situation whereby she is likely to commit adultery, such as by having sex with another man. Yet, in truth, she is still the wife of the first man. For her unjust putting away has not released her from her marriage to the man unjustly putting her away.
Therefore in Matthew 19:9, the man who unjustly puts away his wife and marries another commits adultery not by his act in marrying another woman, but by his unjust action in placing his wife in a situation whereby she is likely to commit adultery by having sex with another man. The new wife that he takes, if she is not the wife of another man, is not guilty of adultery. The marriage of the new wife to the man is therefore valid before Yahweh provided he has lawfully taken her as his wife, and subsequently married her by sexual union.
Is It A Stumbling Block For A Woman To Forsake Her "Believing Husband"?
The third matter I want to address here is whether it is a STUMBLING BLOCK to require a woman supposedly "married" to a believer to forsake her "believing husband" and return to her first unbelieving husband. Such as would be the case with a woman who became divorced from her unbelieving husband before she became a believer, and subsequently "married" a man who then subsequently became a believer.
Woman's Second Marriage Invalid Before Yahweh
It appears to me that the woman's second marriage is NOT VALID before Yahweh. She must separate from this man, even if this man is a "believer", and even if she also appears to be a "believer"! Tough words, I know!
The point is that her subsequent "marriage" is not valid before Yahweh, and is therefore harlotry. As Yahweh's law ought to be abided by those who profess submission to him, such a man and such a woman ought to abide by Yahweh's law and separate from one another and cease this living in sin!
Woman Should Not Return To First Husband
The woman should NOT return to her first husband, but should live the rest of her life as a single woman, serving Yahweh wholeheartedly, without the distractions of also serving a man. For returning to her first husband and being sexually enjoined to him, after she has been sexually defiled while lawfully under the authority of her first husband, is an abomination before Yahweh. (Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4.)
Yahweh's Law Is Not A Stumbling Block
It appears to me that the application of Yahweh's law in the area of marriage, no matter how painful the consequences, is NOT A STUMBLING BLOCK to any human being from coming to accept Yah'shuah as the Messiah, and to believe in him and also to believe him. For if one's lifestyle is not in harmony with Yah'shuah's words, one ought to repent of one's errant ways and thereby bring one's life into harmony with Yah'shuah's words.
Yisraelites Required To Put Away Unbelieving Wives
Were not the Yisraelites in Ezra's and Nechemyah's time (Ezra 9 and 10; Nechemyah (Nehemiah) 13), who married unbelieving non-Yisraelites, required to put away their unbelieving non-Yisraelite spouses, together with their children? Was not this action painful to all involved? Yet was it not done all the same, in compliance with Yahweh's law?
The point is that those who desire to live by Yahweh's law must sometimes take some difficult decisions, even very painful ones. They must choose whom they love more - whether Yahweh and his Son Yah'shuah or some other master, even if that other master is their own head, or their own pleasure, or some other person.
Many Are Called, But Few Are Chosen
It must also be remembered that "many are called, but few are chosen". Some reject their calling because they love the things of this world more than they love Yah'shuah the Messiah. Is it not the case that those who love the things of this world more than they love Yah'shuah the Messiah are unworthy of Yah'shuah the Messiah? One must choose whom one serves, whether Yah'shuah the Messiah or another!
Therefore, to truly repent, a woman who is "married" to a believer in her second "marriage" while her husband from her first marriage is still alive must first separate herself from this man before she can truly become a believer. For a true believer not only accepts that Yah'shuah is the Messiah, but also believes and acts upon Yah'shuah's words.
The "believing husband" in such a scenario, once the matter has been pointed out to him, must also separate himself from the woman who is not lawfully his wife. Otherwise, once this hidden sin has become known to him, and he continues to sin wilfully, and not ignorantly as before, then he too ceases to be a believer.
As the above is only a summary answer, without delving into the details of the arguments covered in your response to me, I refer you to in-depth articles which explain the rationale taken above. They can all be found in the Servants of Yahweh web site with the URLs http://www.ServeYahweh.org and http://www.servantsofyahweh.mcmail.com.
The relevant articles that address the matters raised in your answer to me are:
1. Marriage, Adultery and Divorce
2. Validity of an Adultery/Idolatry Analogy
3. Is a Deserted Believer Allowed to Marry Again?
4. Why a Believer's Unbelieving Spouse is Holy
5. Marriage and Slavery - A Scriptural Study
I wait to hear from you in due course, upon which we shall hopefully continue to edify one another.
ISAAC
August 1999 View: Is It A Stumbling Block For A Woman To Forsake Her "Believing Husband"?
A woman unjustly put away from her unbelieving husband is still her husband's wife. She must not marry another man. For by marrying another man she commits adultery.
If the woman erroneously thought that her marriage to her unbelieving husband had terminated, and married a believing man on the basis of this thought, then she entered into an adulterous marriage unwittingly! Nevertheless, unwitting or not, her second marriage is adulterous. It must be repented of. The manner of so repenting of this adulterous marriage relationship is by coming out of it. The believing woman and believing man must terminate their adulterous marriage relationship.
Can the woman, after terminating her adulterous marriage relationship, return to her unbelieving husband?
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 forbids a man from marrying again a woman previously his wife whom he had divorced, and she subsequently sexually defiled herself by having sex with another man. Seeing that the unbelieving husband did not validly divorce his believing wife when he unjustly put her away, but was responsible for her adultery while she was put away from him, he can indeed receive her back and have sex with her again. For she never ceased to be his wife. The believing woman can therefore return to her unbelieving husband if he is willing to receive her back.
If the unbelieving husband is not willing to receive her back then the woman should live the life of a single woman, not having sex with any man.
Dear Brother
Thanks for your speedy reply: "Mercy, and not Sacrifice // (Other stuff too)".
I will give you my additional impressions based on your last writing. I will also review all the material that you have written on this matter. Should my views change after the review I will let you know. I do not have unchangeable views, only that I consciously refuse to change those views that I think are based on the scriptures. But even in this I pray that I have sufficient meekness and vision to see and accept a truth that is shown to me that I had hitherto not accepted. Any views that I propound are therefore my views current at the time so propounded.
Extent Of The Law Against Adultery
It appears to me that we need to address the extent of the law against adultery. My understanding is that there is more to it than just "woman that breaketh wedlock". It is broader than that. The articles that I referred you to in the Servants of Yahweh web site explain further. I will avoid repetition and ask you to check it out when you have time.
August 1999 View: Extent Of The Law Against Adultery
My current view is essentially the same as that put across by the brother I was corresponding with, that adultery is essentially a woman breaking her marriage by her faithlessness. The updated articles in the Servants of Yahweh web site reflect this view.
"Bondage" And "Freedom" In 1 Corinthians 7: 15 And Yahchanan (John) 8: 36
It also appears to me that we need to address the meaning of "bondage" and "freedom", vis-à-vis 1 Corinthians 7: 15 and Yahchanan (John) 8: 36. It appears to me that your understanding of the meaning of "bondage" in 1 Corinthians 7: 15 is that a believer is not only not bound or required to live together with the unbelieving spouse, but is also free to marry again, even if such a believer is a woman.
Is A Believing Woman Free To Marry Again After Departing From An Unbelieving Husband?
I do not think that your understanding on this matter is correct. Allow me to explain why. I will try and be brief, for a detailed explanation is given in the articles I referred you to in the above-mentioned web site.
1 Corinthians 7: 10 instructs believing wives not to separate from their husbands - believing husbands. But if they separate from their believing husbands they are barred from marrying again. We are therefore agreed that a believing woman married to a believing man is not allowed to marry again while her believing husband is alive.
Where we are disagreed is in your belief that a believing woman married to an unbelieving man is allowed to marry again even while her unbelieving husband is alive. For I contend that a believing woman married to an unbelieving man is not allowed to marry again while her unbelieving husband is alive. In other words, my contention with respect to the remarriage restriction imposed on a believing woman married to a believer is the same as that on a believing woman married to an unbeliever. In other words, a believing woman married to an unbeliever does not have greater freedom or license than a believing woman married to a believer.
Is A Believing Woman Married To An Unbeliever Living In Sin Or Not?
Consider the following.
Is the believing woman married to an unbeliever married or not? Is her relationship with her unbelieving husband a chaste relationship or is it adultery?
The Scripture does not call her an adulteress or a harlot. The Scripture says that she is married. She is therefore validly married in Yahweh's eyes and does not commit harlotry in her relationship with her unbelieving husband.
When Does Yahweh Recognise The Marriage Of A Believing Woman To An Unbeliever?
Seeing that she married her unbelieving husband before she became a believer herself, and her marriage is valid in Yahweh's eyes, it is clear that her marriage was also valid in Yahweh's eyes before she became a believer. In other words, the validity of her marriage in Yahweh's eyes did not commence with her becoming a believer, but commenced prior to her becoming a believer.
If before she became a believer her marriage to her unbelieving husband was not valid in Yahweh's eyes, she would have been committing harlotry. As harlotry is sexual immorality, she would have had to repent of her harlotry with this man prior to becoming a true believer and receiving of the Holy Spirit. In other words, she would have had to separate from this unbelieving man at the time she became a believer.
Standard Of Righteousness Remains Unchanged When One Becomes A Believer
For sin is not mysteriously made righteousness when one becomes a believer. If conduct prior to one becoming a believer is sin, then such conduct remains sin after one becomes a believer. Likewise, if conduct prior to one becoming a believer is righteousness, then such conduct remains righteousness after one becomes a believer.
Therefore, as she continues to remain married to her unbelieving husband after she becomes a believer, the clear implication is that her marriage to her unbelieving husband was not sin, but was valid in Yahweh's eyes. And as it was valid, one ought to conclude that some marriages amongst unbelievers are valid before Yahweh's eyes. Therefore, marriages that are valid before Yahweh's eyes are not the preserve of believers only. There are also marriages among unbelievers that are valid in Yahweh's eyes!
The Same Law Is Applicable To All Believing Women
Now, as the marriage of a believing woman to her believing husband is valid in Yahweh's eyes, so also is the marriage of a believing woman to her unbelieving husband. And as the believing woman married to a believer is prohibited from marrying another man while her husband is alive, so also is the believing woman married to an unbeliever prohibited from marrying another man while her husband is alive. The law applicable on all believing women is the same. There isn't one law for the one married to a believer and another one for the other married to an unbeliever. The same law is applicable to all believing women - in fact to all women for that matter.
Meaning Of "Bondage" In 1 Corinthians 7: 15
Then what did Shaul mean by saying that a believer is not bound to an unbeliever in 1 Corinthians 7: 15?
My understanding of this word translated "bound" or "bondage" in 1 Corinthians 7: 15 is that the believer is not required to LIVE TOGETHER with an unbelieving spouse IF the unbelieving spouse is unwilling to live together with the believer. In other words, if the situation between the believer and his or her unbelieving spouse is WAR, and NOT PEACE, then, for sake of peace for the believer, the believer should not insist that he or she live together with the warring unbeliever.
But mind you, a lack of restriction to live together in a situation of war does not equate to a freedom to marry someone else! Therefore one should not conclude that as believers married to unbelievers are not bound to live together with them in situations of war between themselves and their unbelieving spouses, so all believers married to unbelievers are free to marry others, only that the others must also be believers.
The correct conclusion would be for a believing woman married to an unbeliever who is separated from her unbelieving husband to remain single while her unbelieving husband lives. Otherwise she should be reconciled to her unbelieving husband and live together with him. But she is not to marry another man.
This is the same conclusion Shaul comes to with respect to a believing woman married to a believer. And in this he was not only giving his opinion as one in whom resided the Spirit of Yahweh, but he was simply repeating Yahweh's command.
Why Did Shaul Repeat Yahweh's Instruction?
Now why was Shaul, repeating Yahweh's instruction, saying that believing women should not separate from their spouses? And that believing men should not divorce their wives?
Is it not the case that those who are married ought to live together, thereby living a marriage commensurate with that between Yah'shuah and the called out ones, and also not violating the law against adultery? Is it also not the case that whereas a husband can divorce his wife, a woman cannot validly divorce her husband?
Conflict Situation Between Believing Spouses
Also note that Shaul was aware that a situation could arise whereby a believing wife was living apart from her believing husband, even though it is Yahweh's instruction that they live together. His counsel to the believing woman so married to a believer was that she should be reconciled to her husband. Failing that, she should live the life of a single woman, not being allowed to marry another man.
A situation may indeed arise where there is war between a believing husband and his believing wife. While this is not ideal, and should be resolved, it can arise nevertheless. It appears to me that to facilitate peace in the lives of both the believing husband and the believing wife prior to their reconciliation, the situation of a believing wife living apart from her believing husband can be tolerated for a short period of time. But this time should not be long, lest she be tempted to commit sexual immorality.
Therefore even though the ideal is that she lives together with her husband, a temporary period of her living apart from her husband, for the sake of peace, can be tolerated. This is the same reason Shaul gives allowing believers to live apart from their unbelieving spouses who are unwilling to live together with them in peace.
Meaning Of "Free" In Yahchanan (John) 8: 36
Concerning Yahchanan (John) 8: 36. Taken in context, say Yahchanan (John) 8: 31-38, one sees that the freedom Yah'shuah was talking about here was freedom from slavery to sin! He was not talking about freedom from being under the authority of her father with respect to her father giving her in marriage to some man. It therefore appears to me to be inappropriate for one to use Yahchanan (John) 8: 36 as partial justification that a daughter is freed from being under the authority of her father with respect to her being given away in marriage to a man.
It also appears to me to be inappropriate for one to use the following phrase such as you used: 'But if she not so set free, then 1_Corinthians 7:15 and John 8:36 are lies, for saying that "a brother or a sister is not under BONDAGE in such cases; but God hath called us to peace". "If the Son therefore shall set you free, ye shall be free indeed."'
For you appear to be using your understanding in interpreting Scripture, rather than allowing Scripture's own self-interpretation to change or enhance your understanding of it. For Yahchanan (John) 8: 36 is talking about freedom from slavery to sin, and not freedom of an unmarried daughter from being under the authority of her father with respect to her being given in marriage to some man. And the lack of restriction on a believer from living apart from a warring unbelieving spouse in 1 Corinthians 7: 15 does not automatically imply freedom for the believer to marry someone else.
There are two types of marriages: marriages effected by Yahweh and marriages effected by humans. Yah'shuah in Matthew 19:6 forbids humans from severing marriages effected by Yahweh. Implying that only Yahweh can sever marriages that he himself has effected. There is no prohibition on the severance of a marriage effected by human beings, implying that such marriages can indeed be severed.
A believing woman married to an unbeliever, such as spoken of by Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:12-15, was likely married by him prior to her becoming a believer. If Yahweh effected that marriage then no human can sever it. It can only be severed on grounds Yahweh allows. If humans effected that marriage, implying that the marriage was effected in a manner disapproved by Yahweh, then it can indeed be severed.
Ezra 9 and 10 shows that marriages effected by humans in disobedience to Yahweh's word ought to be severed. Such marriages are valid, but they ought to be severed, seeing that such marriages displease Yahweh and incur his great anger. And repentance from such marriages entails severing them.
Therefore, if a believing woman is married to an unbelieving man in a marriage that displeases Yahweh, a marriage effected by human beings, that marriage should be severed. Once severed the woman can indeed be married again, this time by a believer.
What If An Unbelieving Father Gives Away In Marriage His Believing Daughter To An Unbeliever?
Since the situation has arisen I will address it. A case may arise whereby an unbelieving father might insist that his believing daughter marry an unbeliever. In such a case the believer ought to obey Yahweh rather than men, as the apostles clearly taught us in Acts 4: 18-20. In other words, man's authority over believers extends only so far as man's authority is within Yahweh's authority with respect to believers. But if man instructs believers to take a course of action that violates Yahweh's word to believers, then believers must in those matters obey Yahweh rather than men.
Therefore a believing unmarried woman who is given in marriage by her father to an unbeliever must not submit to her father in this matter. For Yahweh has allowed her to marry only a fellow believer. In such a case it is Yahweh who directly gives her to a fellow believer, and not her physical father.
And the above applies only to an unmarried believing woman still in the household of her father. It does not apply to a woman validly married to an unbeliever while she was an unbeliever herself. For once the marriage of a woman is valid, whether to a believer or to an unbeliever, it is valid. The woman subsequently becoming a believer, if she was an unbeliever at the time she was married, does not invalidate her marriage to her unbelieving husband.
Concerning Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4 and Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3: 1, 11-14. I freely acknowledge that I have wrestled in my mind with the apparent inconsistency between Yahweh's command to humans in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4, repeated in Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3: 1, and his own prophesied actions in Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3: 11-14. The matter is discussed in the section titled "Divorce and Defilement" within the article "Marriage and Slavery - A Scriptural Study", in the Servants of Yahweh web site. I will therefore be brief here.
David Can Teach Us How To Apply Mercy With Knowledge And Understanding
In Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3: 15, after Yahweh has reconciled faithless Yisrael and false Yahudah to himself, he says that he will give them shepherds after his own heart, who will feed them with "knowledge and understanding". In Yechezkel (Ezekiel) 34: 23-24 Yahweh reveals that he will set up David as their shepherd, and David would feed them. In 1 Shemuel (Samuel) 13: 13-14 and Acts 13: 22 David is described as having been a man after Yahweh's own heart. We therefore know that David was a shepherd after Yahweh's own heart who also had both knowledge and understanding. We also know from Psalm 51 that he also understood what mercy was, and the distinction between mercy and sacrifice. We can therefore learn from David how to apply Yahweh's law with knowledge and understanding and also show mercy at the same time.
Avshalom, in usurping his father's throne, compounded his rebellion by also sexually violating his father's wives (2 Shemuel (Samuel) 16: 20-23). David's wives did not willingly give themselves over to Avshalom. They were effectively raped before all Yisrael! They were powerless in preventing their sexual defilement, even if they had cried. What then did David do to these wives of his after their sexual defilement through no fault of their own?
2 Shemuel (Samuel) 20: 3 tells us that he supported or provided for them but did not sexually lie with them again. And so they lived single, as if in widowhood, until they died!
David was therefore compliant with Yahweh's law of not sexually lying with one's sexually defiled wife, even if one's wife was innocent of the sexual defilement, having been raped. David was also compliant with Yahweh's mercy, for he did not put his wives away, but supported or provided for them. Therefore, learning from David, a shepherd after Yahweh's own heart in whom dwelt the Spirit of Yahweh, a shepherd who had both knowledge and understanding of Yahweh's ways, I conclude that for us human beings the command in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4 and Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3: 1 applies.
Therefore, if one's wife has been sexually defiled, in that she has had sex with some man subsequent to becoming one's wife, one is not to sexually lie with her. If her defilement came from her adultery, and she repents of her adultery, in mercy one should provide for her in terms of her life's sustenance. But one should not sexually lie with her. Also, if she is raped, the same applies. One is to provide for her, but not to sexually lie with her. The offending action is not one complying with Yahweh's law. The offending action is the sexual defilement, whether her adultery, or the action of a rapist.
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 forbids a man from sexually lying with a woman who was FORMERLY his wife, and had sex with another man after she had ceased to be his wife. It does not talk about a man being sexually forbidden from his wife if she sexually lies with another man while still his wife. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 cannot therefore be correctly used in justification of a practice of a man refraining from sexual relations with his wife after someone else sexually lies with her while she is still his wife.
Also, it appears that David sexually lay with his first wife Michal, after her adulterous marriage to Palti the son of Laish (See 1 Samuel 18:20-28; 1 Samuel 19:11-17; 1 Samuel 25:42-44; 2 Samuel 3:12-16 and 2 Samuel 6:11-23). David's life therefore cannot be used to justify the practice of a man refraining from sexual relations with his wife after someone else sexually lies with her while she is still his wife.
It therefore appears that David's action is sexually refraining from his concubines after another man had sexually lain with them while they were still his concubines was not founded on Deuteronomy 24:1-4. It was therefore founded on another reason. For a husband can sexually lie with his wife even after another man has sexually lain with her while she is still his wife.
Woman Previously Married To Unbeliever
Now coming back to our case, of a woman previously married to an unbeliever and subsequently married another unbeliever, who then became a believer.
It appears to me, in light of the above, that if that woman was indeed validly married to a man she initially called her husband, then her second marriage is void before Yahweh. Even if the man she is apparently now "married" to is a believer, she must separate herself from this man. And if the man calls himself a believer, he must separate himself from this woman, for this woman is not really his wife, but is an adulteress.
Parties To Void Marriage Must Repent Of Sexual Immorality
If the man was engaged in a relationship of adultery unwittingly, then once this knowledge comes to light to him he must end this adultery. He must separate himself from this adulteress. If he does so then his unwitting sin will be forgiven him, for Yahweh is merciful. But if he refuses to put this woman away from himself, loving this woman more than he loves Yahweh and Yah'shuah, then he is not worthy of Yahweh and Yah'shuah and makes himself a knowledgeable rebel. Yahweh's Spirit will no longer dwell in him, for he will have chosen man over Yahweh and Yah'shuah.
If a believing woman's first marriage to an unbeliever, a marriage taking place while she was also an unbeliever, was effected by Yahweh then that marriage can only be severed by Yahweh. For Yah'shuah's words in Matthew 19:6 clearly show that what Yahweh has joined together let not man put asunder. Her marriage to this man continues until such time as Yahweh severs it. The ground by which Yahweh may sever it is her immorality (Gk. 'porneia'). Therefore, if while she is still an unbeliever she practices 'porneia', and her unbelieving husband divorces her in a manner compliant with Deuteronomy 24:1-2, then she ceases to be his wife. She may be married by another man.
If while divorced she becomes a believer then a believer may marry her. For Deuteronomy 24:1-2 allows a divorced woman to become wife to another man.
But if her first unbelieving husband did not divorce her in a manner compliant with Deuteronomy 24:1-2, and only put her away, then she remains his wife. She may not righteously marry another man, whether or not she becomes a believer after her husband has put her away without divorcing her. For Yah'shuah in Matthew 5:31-32 forbids a woman put away from her husband, yet not divorced from him, from marrying again. For such subsequent marriage is an adulterous marriage.
Therefore, a believing woman previously married to an unbeliever in a marriage Yahweh effected can only righteously marry again if her husband validly divorced her on account of her immorality.
If the woman's first marriage was effected by humans in a manner not approved by Yahweh then that marriage can indeed be severed. For Matthew 19:6 does not forbid humans severing marriages effected by humans. After her first marriage to an unbeliever has been severed, whether before or after she becomes a believer, she can be married by a believer. Her first marriage should be severed in a manner compliant with Deuteronomy 24:1-2, thereby facilitating her subsequent marriage.
Submissive Servants Of Yahweh Must Comply With All Of His Words
Now, it is my opinion that one who obeys Yahweh's law as shown above does not put a stumbling stone before any potential believer, your words notwithstanding. Yahweh's words are Yahweh's words and must be complied with if we are to be one with Yahweh and Yah'shuah. It is not for us to choose and pick which aspects of Yahweh's way we will comply with, and which ones we will not. As true submissive servants we are to comply with all of his words to the best of our knowledge and capability.
Therefore, if one is a potential believer and has expressed an interest in becoming a believer, the law of Yahweh must be put to such a one to allow such a one to decide whether or not to live by Yahweh's law. If such a one is prepared to forsake all else and accept Yahweh and Yah'shuah, then such a one is truly a believer and is worthy of Yahweh. But if the cares of this world are more important to such a one than to fully submit to Yahweh and Yah'shuah, then such a one is not worthy of Yahweh and Yah'shuah the Messiah.
Repent Of Covetousness And Idolatry
We must not forget the case of the rich young man who was desirous of following Yah'shuah, but who turned away when Yah'shuah told him that though he kept some commandments, there was one thing that he still lacked - selling his possessions, giving to the poor and then following Yah'shuah (Mattityahu (Matthew) 19: 16-22). The rich young man was too attached to the things of this world to fully follow Yah'shuah.
Yah'shuah then taught that it was HARD to enter the kingdom of heaven, especially for those attached to the things of this world (Mattityahu (Matthew) 19: 23-30). But he also said that those who were prepared and would actually LEAVE EVERYTHING, even very close loved ones, would both receive a hundredfold and inherit eternal life!
Human Marriage Not The Greatest Thing
It should therefore be clear that being attached in invalid marriage to a fellow human being is not the greatest thing one can aspire to or should retain. Human marriage is a matter for this age, for in the age of the resurrection there will be neither marrying nor giving in marriage, but those humans so resurrected will be as angels who neither marry nor are given in marriage (Mattityahu (Matthew) 22: 30).
Therefore if the only thing - some call it a stumbling stone - that stands between one following Yah'shuah and rejecting him is forsaking or separating from a person one is not validly married to, one should so forsake or separate from this person and fully follow Yah'shuah. For eternal life in Yahweh and Yah'shuah the Messiah is certainly of more value than anything of this world, even an illicit marriage relationship.
May Yah'shuah's Spirit touch your heart.
ISAAC
Should A Husband Sexually Lie With A Defiled Wife?
It has already been seen that according to Yahweh's law in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4 a husband is not allowed to sexually lie with his sexually defiled wife, for this is an abomination before Yahweh. It has also been seen how David, a man after Yahweh's own heart, who had both knowledge of and understanding in Yahweh's law, and also understood Yahweh's mercy, applied Yahweh's law recorded in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4. While he did not sexually lie with his defiled wives after their defilement, he nevertheless provided for their sustenance. It has also been seen in Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3 that despite it being an abomination for a man to sexually lie with his defiled wife, Yahweh will indeed take back his estranged and defiled wives, Yisrael and Yahudah!
August 1999 View: Should A Husband Sexually Lie With A Defiled Wife?
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 does not talk about a husband being sexually forbidden from a defiled wife, but about a man being sexually forbidden from a defiled former wife who was so defiled after she had ceased to be his wife. David's life cannot therefore be used to justify, on the basis of Deuteronomy 24:1-4, a husband sexually refraining from a defiled wife of his. A husband can sexually lie with a defiled wife of his without violating Deuteronomy 24:1-4.
Why Will Yahweh Take Back His Sexually Defiled Wives?
Why does it appear that Yahweh will act in a manner contrary to his law that is recorded in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4?
Yirmeyahu (Jeremiah) 3: 1 clearly quotes Yahweh as saying that if a man takes back his sexually defiled wife the land in which they dwell will be greatly polluted. Yahweh then acknowledges that Yisrael has played the prostitute with many lovers. Nevertheless, despite doing so, and becoming defiled in the process of so doing, he was urging her to return to him. Why? Would not this bring about great pollution?
Verse 3: 2 quotes Yahweh as saying that Yisrael had polluted the land with her prostitution with many lovers, thereby confirming Yahweh's words in verse 1.
August 1999 View: Jeremiah 3:1
Jeremiah 3:1 does not talk about a Yahweh taking back his sexually defiled wife, Israel. It talks about Yahweh taking back his sexually defiled FORMER wife Israel, who continued to defile herself even after Yahweh put her away.
Also, Yahweh's experience in his dealings with Israel shows that despite Israel repeatedly prostituting herself through her idolatry, Yahweh continued to provide for her. This he did prior to divorcing Israel. He therefore showed through his dealings with Israel and Judah that a husband should not divorce his wife upon her first prostituting conduct, but should patiently bear with her, encouraging her to return to the way of righteousness. When his wife repents he should continue on with his marital duties. It is only after his wife repeatedly and unrepentantly persists in her harlotry that he should put her away through divorce, thereby severing the marriage.
Why Abnormal Weather Patterns Occur
Verse 3: 3 quotes Yahweh stating the effect the pollution had on the land. The showers were withheld, with no latter rain falling. The clear implication being that abnormal weather patterns arose because of the land having become polluted by the sexual immorality of the people dwelling in the land. It should therefore be clear to us that when abnormal weather patterns arise in the lands of our dwelling, a factor so explaining the weather abnormality is our own sinful living. Therefore, to facilitate the return of proper weather patterns, we should desist from sinning against Yahweh.
Verse 3: 12 shows Yahweh commanding that a proclamation be made towards the north, a proclamation made to backsliding Yisrael, commanding her to return to Yahweh. For though Yahweh has been angry with her, for her adultery and prostitution, he will not be angry with her forever. For he is merciful and forgiving.
Verse 3: 13 shows that Yahweh requires Yisrael to acknowledge her sins and guilt. If she does so, he will indeed be merciful to her and forgive her iniquity against him.
Yisrael And Yahudah Dwelling In The Land Of The North
Verse 3: 14 reiterates Yahweh's command to Yisrael that she returns to the land of promise. One by one, and two by two, will he gather them from toward the north and bring them back to Tzion.
Possession Of Proper Knowledge And Understanding Essential In Walking Faithfully In Yahweh's Ways
Verses 3: 15-17 show that once knowledge and understanding will have been imparted to the returned Yisraelites, the one from a city and two from a family gathered from toward the north, knowledge and understanding imparted by shepherds after Yahweh's own heart, Yisrael will no more walk in the stubbornness of her evil heart. Implying that the possession of proper knowledge and understanding is essential in enabling us to avoid walking in the stubbornness of our evil hearts. It is therefore imperative that we be adequately knowledgeable in, and understanding of, Yahweh's ways.
Verse 3: 18 confirms that both houses of Yisrael and Yahudah will indeed travel from the land of the north to the land of inheritance. It is therefore clear that at the time Yahweh will have established his throne in Yerushalayim, some Yisraelites and some Yahudim will be dwelling in the land of the north, from where they will travel to the land of inheritance.
Verse 3: 19 shows that the returned Yisraelites and Yahudim will become and remain faithful to Yahweh. For they shall not turn away from following Yahweh. They will not repeat their previous marital faithlessness, even as verse 20 stresses.
Why Yahweh Urges Yisrael And Yahudah To Return To Him
Verse 3: 22 gives the reason why Yahweh urges Yisrael and Yahudah to return to him, despite being backsliding or unfaithful children. He will heal their backsliding. In other words, he will remove from them their backsliding, unfaithful and stubborn heart, and replace it with a forthright, faithful and submissive heart. It therefore appears that if Yahweh heals a wife, giving her a forthright, faithful and submissive heart, coupled with the knowledge and understanding of his ways, she can return to her husband. In mercy her husband should take her back, even though she had defiled herself sexually. He should not be permanently angry with her, but should be forgiving toward her.
When A Husband Can Take Back A Defiled Wife
But it should be noted: this applies only if and when Yahweh has healed her. If Yahweh has not healed her she remains defiled to her husband, and therefore forbidden to him. But once healed she is cleansed of her defilement.
It should also be remembered how Kefa was given a vision as recorded in Acts 10. He was clearly told that "what Yahweh had cleansed he must not make unholy". He himself understood the meaning of the vision he saw, that Yahweh had shown him that he should call no man unholy or unclean, especially those of other nations whom the Yahudim viewed as unholy or unclean. Likewise, when Yahweh has healed a defiled wife, even as he heals believers from all nations, a husband should not persist in calling her unclean. He should acknowledge Yahweh's healing power over her, and mercifully take her back, knowing for certain that Yahweh has cleansed her of her sins and defilement. He can sexually lie with her after her cleansing.
Why David Did Not Sexually Lie With His Wives After Their Defilement
In light of this we can understand why David did not sexually lie with his defiled wives after their defilement. It appears that Yahweh did not heal them! Yahweh maybe chose not to heal them as part of his punishment to David, for his murder of Uriyah and his adultery with Uriyah's wife. For Yahweh did indeed prophesy this punishment upon David when he rebuked him for his sin in the matter of Uriyah.
That Yahweh did not heal David's wives after their sexual defilement shows that he does not always heal the sexually defiled wife of a man, even a believing man in whom dwells his Holy Spirit, even when such a wife has been raped! A husband, especially a believing one, should therefore not jump to a conclusion suggesting that because he is a believer, and because Yahweh is merciful, Yahweh will automatically heal his sexually defiled wife. Yahweh may choose not to heal such a man's sexually defiled wife. And if not healed, the wife's husband must not sexually lie with her again.
It is therefore imperative that such a husband ascertains whether or not Yahweh has healed his sexually defiled wife, in order to allow him to walk properly in Yahweh's way, with knowledge and understanding and mercy.
August 1999 View: Why David Did Not Sexually Lie With His Wives After Their Defilement
The reason David did not sexually lie with his wives after their defilement by another was not founded on Deuteronomy 24:1-4. For Deuteronomy 24:1-4 is applicable to a former wife who is sexually defiled by another after she has ceased to be one's wife. David's defiled wives had not ceased to be his wives. Deuteronomy 24:1-4 therefore did not apply to David's case.
How May A Husband Know Whether His Defiled Wife Has Been Healed?
How may a husband know whether Yahweh has healed a defiled wife?
Simply by asking Yahweh to confirm whether or not he has healed the defiled wife. For did not Yah'shuah command us to "Ask, and you shall receive"? Therefore, by asking for such confirmation, asking Yahweh in faith, he will indeed confirm to us whether or not he has healed a defiled wife, thereby allowing a husband to sexually lie with her again.
Also, by ascertaining the fruits exhibited by the defiled wife. If she has had a genuine change of heart, becomes forthright, faithful and submissive, and acquires proper knowledge and understanding of Yahweh's ways, and walks properly in Yahweh's ways, faithfully, it is indeed likely that she has been healed. If she repents of her unfaithfulness and harlotry, and confesses her sin, and asks for forgiveness, the merciful Yahweh will indeed forgive her sin and likely heal her of her sexual defilement. She may return to her husband, and if she is healed he may sexually lie with her after her return.
But if the defiled wife does not exhibit the fruits of Yahweh's way, but continues in her rebellion, she has evidently not been healed. Her husband should not take her back, and neither should he sexually lie with her. For it is abomination before Yahweh for a defiled wife to sexually lie with her husband.
Also, in the case of a wife who is raped, and did not act faithlessly against her husband, such as in the case of David's wives, it appears to me that a husband must indeed hear from Yahweh before sexually lying with such a wife. For how else will he know that his wife has been cleansed of her defilement, seeing that his wife did not play the harlot against him?
It therefore appears to me that a prudent husband who fears Yahweh and desires to do his will should not sexually lie with his sexually defiled wife unless and until he hears from Yahweh. If Yahweh informs the husband that he has healed the defiled wife, thereby cleansing her, he may sexually lie with her. But if the husband does not receive such communication from Yahweh he should not sexually lie with her, and should fully abide by Yahweh's command in Devarim (Deuteronomy) 24: 1-4. He can continue to show mercy to his defiled wife in other ways.
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