True Marriage - A Scriptural Study
By Isaac Aluochier
All scriptural quotations are from the Hebrew Names Version of the World English Bible available at http://www.ebible.org/bible/hnv/.
What Is A Marriage In The Almighty's View?
Shalom Pam
You wrote:
Hi Isaac,
Just wanted to ask you, what is a marriage in God's view? Or anyone else on this list may answer this!
Pam
Following is my response, as I was moved to respond.
Genesis 2:18-25 reads,
'2:18
Yahweh the Mighty One said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." 2:19Out of the ground Yahweh the Mighty One formed every animal of the field, and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 2:20The man gave names to all cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every animal of the field; but for man there was not found a helper suitable for him. 2:21Yahweh the Mighty One caused a deep sleep to fall on the man, and he slept; and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 2:22He made the rib, which Yahweh the Mighty One had taken from the man, into a woman, and BROUGHT HER TO THE MAN. 2:23The man said, "This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh. She will be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." 2:24Therefore a man will leave his father and his mother, and WILL JOIN WITH HIS WIFE, and THEY WILL be one flesh. 2:25They were both naked, the man and HIS WIFE, and were not ashamed.'Genesis 3:20-21 reads,
'3:20The man called his wife Havah, because she was the mother of all living. 3:21Yahweh the Mighty One made coats of skins for Adam and for his wife, and clothed them.'
Genesis 4:1 reads,
'4:1The man KNEW Havah HIS WIFE. She conceived, and gave birth to Kayin, and said, "I have gotten a man with Yahweh's help."'
2:22 notes that Yahweh brought the woman to the man.
2:25 notes that the woman Yahweh brought to the man was termed "his wife".
When Did The Woman Become The Man's Wife?
WHEN did she become his wife? When did the man and the woman marry, or become husband and wife?
The Woman Became The Man's Wife Before They Became One Flesh
It seems to me that at the time the man and the woman became husband and wife, at the time they were married, they had yet to become "one flesh". They had yet to have sex with one another. For 2:24 is NOT part of the narrative of the events that took place as described in 2:18-25. It is instead an explanation for FUTURE human conduct. For at this stage in human history, shortly after the woman was brought to the man, there were no human fathers or mothers, and no human children. It therefore appears that the man and the woman became husband and wife - married - BEFORE they became "one flesh"!
Becoming One Flesh Does Not Determine Marriage
Also, following the narrative, the first mention of sex between the man and his wife is in 4:1. Though the summarised nature of the narrative does not allow one to prove that this was the first time the man and the woman had sex, the indication given by the narrative is that the woman became the man's wife before they had sex. Implying that human marriage takes place before a man has sex with his wife. Or, to put it another way, becoming "one flesh" - having sex - is NOT what determines whether a woman is married to a man.
A Woman Should Be A Man's Wife Before He Becomes One Flesh With Her
The explanatory verse, 2:24, also gives us an indication of WHEN marriage takes place. It states that a man is to leave his father and mother and join with HIS WIFE. It does not say that he is to join with any woman. It says that he is to join with HIS WIFE. Implying that the woman he is to join with must already be his wife BEFORE he is joined with her, BEFORE he becomes one flesh with her.
In other words, a man is not to join with any woman not his wife. He is not to become one flesh with any woman not his wife. Sex is to take place only between a man and his wife.
That sex is to take place only between a man and his wife indicates that it can indeed take place between a man and an entity not his wife. But seeing that sex is restricted to a man and his wife, it is implied that sex should not take place between a man and any woman not his wife, or between a woman and any man not her husband.
It should therefore be clear that sexual enjoinment or one-fleshness is NOT what determines whether a man is married to a woman. For sexual enjoinment should take place ONLY AFTER a woman has become a man's wife. Marriage of a man to a woman is therefore not determined by the timing of when that man and woman become one flesh. It is determined by OTHER FACTORS.
Yahweh Gave The Woman To The Man As His Wife
Before it is noted in 2:25 that the woman was the man's wife, it is noted in 2:22 that Yahweh BROUGHT THE WOMAN he had created TO THE MAN. In other words, it is Yahweh who gave the woman to the man to be his wife. And after she was given by Yahweh to become the man's wife, she was termed as his wife. It therefore appears that a woman who is a man's wife must have been given to him as his wife by one so capable of giving her to him as his wife.
Yahweh Has Capacity To Give A Woman To A Man As His Wife
In Adam's case it is Yahweh who gave the woman to him to be his wife, thereby showing that it is Yahweh who has the capacity to give a woman to a man to be his wife. Therefore, any person other than Yahweh who gives a woman to a man to be his wife, must do so on Yahweh's authority, with Yahweh having vested in him the power or capacity to give a woman to a man in marriage, to be the man's wife.
Only One With Yahweh's Authority Can Give A Woman To A Man As His Wife
It therefore appears that a woman becomes a man's wife AT THE TIME she is given to the man to be his wife by one with Yahweh's authority to so give her to him as his wife. If anyone without Yahweh's authority gives a woman to a man as his wife, that woman is not in Yahweh's eyes that man's wife. She may appear to other eyes to be the man's wife, but in Yahweh's eyes she is not the man's wife. For she was not given to the man to be his wife by one with Yahweh's authority to do so.
Who Has Yahweh's Authority To Give A Woman To A Man As His Wife?
Now who, other than Yahweh himself, has Yahweh's authority to give a woman to a man as his wife?
The marriage of Isaac and Rebecca gives us answers in this regard. The entire account is in Genesis 24:1-67.
Avraham Believed That Yahweh Had Appointed A Woman To Be His Son's Wife
Genesis 24:6-8 reads,
'24:6Avraham said to him, "Beware that you don't bring my son there again. 24:7YAHWEH, the Mighty One of heaven, who took me from my father's house, and from the land of my birth, who spoke to me, and who swore to me, saying, 'To your descendants I will give this land.' He WILL SEND HIS ANGEL BEFORE YOU, and you shall take a wife for my son from there. 24:8IF THE WOMAN ISN'T WILLING TO FOLLOW YOU, then you shall be clear from this my oath. Only you shall not bring my son there again."'
Avraham understood that it is Yahweh who gives a woman to a man to be his wife. And being a man of faith he was confident that Yahweh would indeed guide his servant to the woman Yahweh had appointed to be his son's wife.
A Woman Has Authority To Accept Or Reject Yahweh's Will For Her
Avraham also understood that a woman appointed by Yahweh to be a particular man's wife HAS AUTHORITY to either accept or reject Yahweh's will for her. For Avraham understood that if a woman appointed by Yahweh to be a particular man's wife refused to become that man's wife then she was not to be compelled to become that man's wife. A woman therefore has authority to reject a marriage proposal to her, even a marriage proposal that Yahweh himself has made to the woman that she becomes a particular man's wife.
The Household A Woman Belongs To Has Authority To Give Her Away In Marriage
Genesis 24:39-41 reads,
"24:39
I said to my master, 'What if the woman will not follow me?' 24:40He said to me, 'Yahweh, before whom I walk, will send his angel with you, and prosper your way. You shall take a wife for my son of MY RELATIVES, and of MY FATHER'S HOUSE. 24:41Then will you be clear from my oath, when you come to MY RELATIVES. If THEY don't give her to you, you shall be clear from my oath.'"Avraham understood that the HOUSEHOLD to which a woman belongs has AUTHORITY to give her away in marriage, authority to give her to become a man's wife. That household can either accept or reject Yahweh's will for that woman, by either giving her or refraining from giving her to the man Yahweh has appointed for her to be wife to.
It therefore appears that Avraham understood that the authority to accept or reject a marriage proposal to a woman resides in the household that woman belongs to. This authority is SHARED by the woman and the rest of the household she belongs to. Such that if EITHER the woman or the rest of the household she belongs to refuses to accept the marriage proposal, even one Yahweh has brought about, the woman is not deemed to have been given away in marriage. She is not deemed, in such circumstances, to be wife to that man proposed to become her husband.
The Head Of Household Decides For His Household
Genesis 24:50-51 reads,
'24:50Then LAVAN AND BETU'EL answered, "The thing proceeds from Yahweh. We can't speak to you bad or good. 24:51Behold, Rivka is before you, TAKE HER, AND GO, AND LET HER BE YOUR MASTER'S SON'S WIFE, as Yahweh has spoken."'
It is noted that in the household that Rivka belonged to it is the MEN of that household who made the decision for that household. Betuel, the head of this household, and Lavan his son made this decision for the household. It therefore appears that the head of household, in whom the authority of the household is vested, is the one to decide for the household.
Seeing that the household Rivka belonged to had already accepted the marriage proposal, the only outstanding matter was whether Rivka herself would also accept the marriage proposal, seeing that she too had authority that could not be overruled in the matter.
The Household Rivka Belonged To Respected Her Authority
Genesis 24:57-58 reads,
'24:57
They said, "WE WILL CALL THE YOUNG LADY, AND ASK HER." 24:58They called Rivka, and said to her, "WILL YOU GO WITH THIS MAN?"She said, "I WILL GO."'
The household Rivka belonged to also understood that Rivka indeed had authority to accept or reject the marriage proposal to her. They therefore sought her word, to ascertain whether she had accepted or rejected the marriage proposal.
When Rivka Became Yitzchak's Wife
Genesis 24:66-67 reads,
'24:66
The servant told Yitzchak all the things that he had done. 24:67YITZCHAK BROUGHT HER into his mother Sarah's tent, AND TOOK RIVKA, and SHE BECAME HIS WIFE. He loved her. Yitzchak was comforted after his mother's death.'The MOMENT Rivka became Yitzchak's wife should be noted. It is ONLY AFTER Yitzchak took her to be his wife that she became his wife. For prior to this action, while Rivka was still in the land of her father's household, it was noted that she was to be Yitzchak's wife (Genesis 24:51). But she had not yet become Yitzchak's wife.
In other words, she had not become Yitzchak's wife despite her father's household having given her away to Yitzchak to be his wife. She had still not become Yitzchak's wife despite having agreed to become Yitzchak's wife. There was still one final CONSENT that was outstanding - Yitzchak's. It is when Yitzchak consented to take Rivka as his wife, demonstrating this consent by taking her as his wife, that she became his wife.
Three Consents Necessary For A Marriage Valid In Yahweh's Eyes
It therefore appears that for a woman to become a man's wife, even a woman appointed by Yahweh to become wife to a particular man, there must be agreement to the marriage proposal by the man, by the woman, and by the household the woman belongs to. If any of these three parties decline the marriage proposal then the woman does not become that man's wife.
It should also be noted that it appears that Yahweh has given authority to these three parties with respect to accepting or declining a marriage proposal. Therefore, when these three parties are all in agreement with the marriage proposal the woman indeed becomes the man's wife, and Yahweh recognises her as the man's wife. But if any one of the three parties rejects the marriage proposal, then the woman is not the man's wife, and Yahweh does not consider her to be the man's wife.
A Woman Is Not Wife Of A Man She Refuses To Be Wife To
Therefore, if the household the woman belongs to gives her away to a man that she may be his wife, and the woman refuses to be wife to that man, she is not wife to that man. Even if she is forced to live with the man as his wife, she is still, in Yahweh's eyes, not wife to that man. For she did not consent to become wife to that man.
A Woman Is Not Wife Of A Man Who Has Refused To Take Her As His Wife
If a man is forced to take as wife a woman he has refused to take as wife, even if forced to live with her as man and wife, she is not his wife in Yahweh's eyes. For he did not give his consent to take her as his wife.
A Woman Is Not Wife Of A Man If The Household She Belongs To Refuses To Give Her As Wife To That Man
If a man takes a woman to be his wife, and the woman gives herself to the man as his wife, but the household she belongs to refuses to give her to that man as his wife, she is not in Yahweh's eyes that man's wife. For the household the woman belongs to did not give its consent for her to be wife to this man.
Shekhem Understood That Dinah Was Not His Wife Until Yaakov's Household Gave Her To Be His Wife
Genesis 34:1-31 gives an illustration that shows that a woman is not a man's wife until such time as the household she belongs to has given her to the man to be his wife.
Genesis 34:1-4 reads,
'34:1Dinah, the daughter of Le'ah, whom she bore to Ya`akov, went out to see the daughters of the land. 34:2Shekhem the son of Hamor the Hivvi, the prince of the land, saw her. HE TOOK HER, LAY WITH HER, AND HUMBLED HER. 34:3HIS SOUL JOINED TO DINAH, the daughter of Ya`akov, and HE LOVED THE YOUNG LADY, and SPOKE KINDLY TO THE YOUNG LADY. 34:4Shekhem spoke to his father, Hamor, saying, "GET ME THIS YOUNG LADY AS A WIFE."'
It is evident that Shekhem understood that Dinah WAS NOT his wife, despite his having taken her, been "one flesh" with her, and "his soul" being "joined to" her. Despite loving her and speaking kindly to her. In other words, Shekhem understood that there were matters that had not been done that determined Dinah being his wife. And unless those matters had been determined Dinah was not his wife!
It Is FOLLY For A Man To Sexually Lie With A Woman Not His Wife
Genesis 34:7 reads,
'34:7
The sons of Ya`akov came in from the field when they heard it. The men were grieved, and they were very angry, because HE HAD DONE FOLLY IN YISRA'EL IN LYING WITH YA'AKOV'S DAUGHTER, WHICH THING OUGHT NOT TO BE DONE.'It is clear that the sons of Yaakov understood that a man who sexually lies with a woman who is not his wife, even if his soul is joined to her, even if he loves her, even if he speaks kindly to her, does FOLLY, a thing that ought not to be done.
Genesis 34:8 reads,
'34:8
Hamor talked with them, saying, "The soul of my son, Shekhem, longs for your daughter. PLEASE GIVE HER TO HIM AS A WIFE."'Hamor clearly understood that a woman was not a man's wife UNLESS and UNTIL the household that she belongs to had given her to that man as his wife. The household a woman belongs to indeed has authority to give her away in marriage to a particular man.
A Man Who Sexually Lies With A Woman Not His Wife Deals With Her As With A Prostitute
Genesis 34:30-31 reads,
'34:30
Ya`akov said to Shim`on and Levi, "You have troubled me, to make me odious to the inhabitants of the land, among the Kana`anim and the Perizzi. I am few in number. They will gather themselves together against me and strike me, and I will be destroyed, I and my house."34:31
They said, "Should he DEAL WITH OUR SISTER AS WITH A PROSTITUTE?"'Shimon and Levi clearly understood that a man who sexually lies with a woman who is not his wife deals with her as with a prostitute. It is irrelevant that the man loves the woman, and his soul is joined to her. It is irrelevant that he speaks kindly to the woman, and that she acquiesces in his sexually lying with her. What is relevant is that she has not been given to him as a wife by those Yahweh has authorised to do so!
In other words, any sexual relationship between a man and a woman, a woman who is not his wife in Yahweh's eyes, is as PROSTITUTION! Therefore if a man sexually lies with a woman without any of the THREE KEY CONSENTS existing, that relationship is as prostitution!
It is therefore imperative that a woman ascertains that the household she belongs to has given her to a man as his wife before she sexually lies with him. But if she sexually gives herself to a man, giving herself to him as his wife, but the household she belongs to has not given her to him as his wife, she is indeed not his wife. Her relationship with him is therefore as that of a man and a prostitute!
The Law Affirms That A Woman Is Not A Man's Wife Until So Given Away By The Household She Belongs To
Yahweh's law that a woman is not a man's wife until such time as the household she belongs to has given her to that man as his wife is repeated in Exodus 22:16-17. And her father, the head of the household she belongs to, is the one to determine the matter for his household. It should therefore be clear that a woman who unilaterally gives herself to a man as his wife, without the consent of her father, is not in Yahweh's eyes that man's wife, despite her purporting to be so.
Exodus 23:32 shows that Yisraelites were forbidden from entering into covenants with the peoples of the land that Yahweh was giving to them for an inheritance. Seeing that Yisraelites were so forbidden, they had no authority to enter into marriage covenants with any of these peoples. Therefore if they took the women of these peoples as their wives, and gave their women to these people as wives, these "marriages of disobedience" would indeed not be approved marriages in Yahweh's eyes.
Any Sexual Relationship That Yahweh Has Forbidden Is Not Approved Marriage
In other words, any sexual relationship purporting to be marriage, but is one prohibited by Yahweh, is NOT APPROVED MARRIAGE in Yahweh's eyes. It is a sexual relationship or marriage of disobedience, and therefore not approved marriage in Yahweh's eyes. It might appear to human beings to be marriage, but it is not approved in Yahweh's eyes.
The Marriage Vows Of A Woman In Her Father's House Are Valid Only When Ratified By Her Father
Numbers 30:3-5 reads,
'30:3
Also when a woman vows a vow to Yahweh, and binds herself by a bond, BEING IN HER FATHER'S HOUSE, IN HER YOUTH, 30:4and her father hears her vow, and her bond wherewith she has bound her soul, and her father holds his shalom at her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she has bound her soul shall stand. 30:5But if her father disallow her in the day that he hears, none of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she has bound her soul, shall stand: and Yahweh will forgive her, because her father disallowed her.'It should be clear that the vows of a woman in her father's household, made in the marriage context, are valid before Yahweh ONLY if ratified by her father. The MANNER her father ratifies such a vow is by not vetoing the vow. Therefore, if a woman in her father's household vows to be wife to a man, and her father does not veto her vow when HE HEARS IT, that vow stands. She then becomes that man's wife at the time that her father ratifies her vow.
A Woman In Her Father's House Who Makes A Marriage Vow Must Be Prepared To Honour It
30:4-5 shows that once a woman in her father's household has made a vow, the only manner she may be released by Yahweh from having to honour that vow is if her father vetoes that vow. Prior to her father hearing about the vow the woman must be ready to honour the vow, for her father may ratify it. On the other hand, after she makes a vow she cannot just walk away from it, simply because her father has not heard of it. For when her father hears of it, and ratifies it, she will be required to honour it.
It therefore appears that when a woman in her father's house makes a vow, while she should not commence to immediately honour the vow, because her father may veto it, she also should not act in a manner disregarding the vow, or in a manner contrary to the vow, for her father may ratify it.
Therefore, a woman who vows to be a man's wife must not begin to have sexual relations with the man, for her father may veto her vow. And she is not that man's wife until such time as her father has ratified her vow. Also, a woman who vows to be a man's wife, and then changes her mind, must not act in a manner to give herself to another man as the other man's wife, for her father may hear of her vow to be wife to the first man, and ratify that vow. And once ratified Yahweh requires her to honour her vow to the first man she vowed to be wife to.
A Woman In Her Father's House Who Makes A Marriage Vow Should Disclose It To Her Father
A woman in her father's house must also not vow to be wife to one man, and then change her mind, and then vow to be wife to another man, a man her father is willing to give her in marriage to, though her father does not know that she vowed to be wife to the first man. For if she hides the matter of her vow to the first man, and goes ahead to become "wife" to the second man, with her father's acquiescence, it may eventually transpire that the matter of her vow to the first man may come to her father's attention. And if when it comes to her father's attention he does not veto it, he will by his failure to veto that vow have ratified it. From the time that he ratifies it by his failure to veto it Yahweh will indeed require her to honour her vow to the first man!
It will then have transpired that she had been living with the second man as in prostitution, even though it was thought that she was his wife. For in Yahweh's eyes she could not be wife to any man, whether the first man or the second, until her father had had opportunity to hear of her vow to the first man, and either ratified it or vetoed it. It therefore appears that a woman who vows to be wife to any man should inform her father of her vow to that man, that he may either ratify it or veto it. For unless he ratifies it or vetoes it she cannot be wife to ANY man! She must remain unmarried until such time as her father has ratified or vetoed her vow to be wife to a man! And, in Yahweh's eyes, she indeed remains unmarried until such time as her father has heard of her vow, and either ratified it or vetoed it.
What if her father dies before he has had opportunity to hear his daughter's marriage vow? Does the vow lapse, or does Yahweh require the woman to honour her marriage vow?
30:5 shows that the time that Yahweh forgives the woman her vow is when her father has disallowed it when he first hears of it. Implying that prior to this time that her father vetoes the vow Yahweh still holds her responsible for honouring this vow. Therefore if her father dies prior to his hearing of her vow, Yahweh requires her to honour it, seeing that her father did not veto her vow when he was alive, yet she made it when he was alive.
In other words, Yahweh requires any woman in her father's household to honour her vows made in her father's household until such time as her father has vetoed the vows. If her father dies before hearing the vows, and therefore does not veto the vows, Yahweh requires the woman to honour those vows from that time that her father dies.
A Woman In Her Father's House May Have Grounds Not To Disclose Her Vow To Her Father
It therefore appears that a woman in her father's house who makes a marriage vow to be wife to a particular man, but fears that her father might veto it, can keep quiet about it until such time as her father has died. Once her father has died, seeing that he did not veto her vow, he can then commence to fulfil the vow. For her vow was ratified by her father's death. But before her vow is ratified, either by her father hearing about it and not vetoing it, or by her father dying before hearing about it, she must not commence to fulfil that vow. For at that stage it can still be vetoed, and therefore nullified.
Numbers 30:9-12 reads,
'30:9
But the vow of A WIDOW, OR HER WHO IS DIVORCED, even everything wherewith she has bound her soul, shall stand against her. 30:10If she vowed in her husband's house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath, 30:11and her husband heard it, and held his shalom at her, and didn't disallow her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. 30:12But if her husband made them null and void in the day that he heard them, then whatever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband has made them void; and Yahweh will forgive her.'It appears that if a woman without a man in authority over her vowed a vow while still under a man's authority, and the vow was ratified by that man while she was under his authority, the vow continues to apply even after that man is no longer in authority over that woman.
By this principle it appears that if a woman in her father's house vowed a vow that was ratified by her father, then the vow continues to hold even when she is no longer under the authority of her father, whether through her father's death, or through her becoming wife to a man, and thereby coming under the authority of her husband.
A Vow Once Established Cannot Be Nullified
Numbers 30:13-15 reads,
'30:13
Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void. 30:14But if her husband altogether hold his shalom at her from day to day, then he establishes all her vows, or all her bonds, which are on her: HE HAS ESTABLISHED THEM, BECAUSE he held his shalom at her in the day that he heard them. 30:15But if he shall make them null and void after that he has heard them, then he shall bear her iniquity.'In other words, once a vow has been established, it cannot be nullified!
Therefore, in the case of a woman still in her father's house, who vows to be a man's wife, and her father establishes her vows, her father then loses all power to nullify what he has established. The woman must honour her vow! Even if the woman changes her mind and does not then desire to remain wife to that man, she must honour her vow. For her father has lost all power to nullify her vow once he established it.
Yahweh's Reason For Forbidding Those Who Serve Him From Marrying Those Who Do Not Serve Him
Deuteronomy 7:1-4 reads,
'7:1When Yahweh your Mighty One shall bring you into the land where you go to possess it, and shall cast out many nations before you, the Chittite, and the Girgashi, and the Amori, and the Kana`ani, and the Perizzi, and the Chivvi, and the Yevusi, seven nations greater and mightier than you; 7:2and when Yahweh your Mighty One shall deliver them up before you, and you shall strike them; then you shall utterly destroy them: YOU SHALL MAKE NO COVENANT WITH THEM, nor show mercy to them; 7:3NEITHER SHALL YOU MAKE MARRIAGES WITH THEM, your daughter you shall not give to his son, nor his daughter shall you take to your son. 7:4FOR HE WILL TURN AWAY YOUR SON FROM FOLLOWING ME, that they may serve other mighty ones: so will the anger of Yahweh be kindled against you, and he will destroy you quickly.'
7:4 shows that the reason Yahweh forbids Yisraelites from marrying those of the nations that he cast out before them was these nations served other gods or mighty ones, and would eventually turn his people away from following him. In other words, Yahweh forbids those who serve him from marrying those who do not serve him, for those who do not serve him are very likely to turn his servants and handmaidens from following him.
Therefore any servant or handmaiden of Yahweh should understand that Yahweh forbids him or her from marrying a person who does not serve Yahweh, but serves another deity. Therefore any sexual relationship between a servant or handmaiden of Yahweh and a person who does not serve Yahweh is not marriage in Yahweh's eyes, despite appearing to be so in human eyes.
Ezra 9 and 10 shows what course of action ought to be taken by those who serve Yahweh who have transgressed his word and have "married" those who do not serve Yahweh. Ezra 9:1-2 reads,
'9:1Now when these things were done, the princes drew near to me, saying, "The people of Yisra'el, and the Kohanim and the Levites, HAVE NOT SEPARATED THEMSELVES FROM THE PEOPLES OF THE LANDS, DOING ACCORDING TO THEIR ABOMINATIONS, even of the Kana`anim, the Chitti, the Perizzi, the Yevusi, the `Ammonim, the Mo`avim, the Mitzrim, and the Amori. 9:2FOR THEY HAVE TAKEN OF THEIR DAUGHTERS FOR THEMSELVES AND FOR THEIR SONS, so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the peoples of the lands: yes, the hand of the princes and rulers has been chief in this trespass."'
9:1 notes that the manner those who serve Yahweh separate themselves from those who do not serve Yahweh is by avoiding doing the abominations or unrighteous deeds of those who do not serve Yahweh.
9:2 notes that the manner to ensure this separation is by those serving Yahweh not "marrying" those who do not serve Yahweh. For such "marriages" or unlawful sexual relationships are forbidden by Yahweh.
Ezra 9:10-15 reads,
'9:10
"Now, our Mighty One, what shall we say after this? For WE HAVE FORSAKEN YOUR COMMANDMENTS, 9:11which you have commanded by your servants the prophets, saying, 'The land, to which you go to possess it, is an unclean land through the uncleanness of the peoples of the lands, through their abominations, which have filled it from one end to another with their filthiness: 9:12now therefore DON'T GIVE YOUR DAUGHTERS TO THEIR SONS, NEITHER TAKE THEIR DAUGHTERS TO YOUR SONS, nor seek their shalom or their prosperity forever; that you may be strong, and eat the good of the land, and leave it for an inheritance to your children forever.' 9:13After all that is come on us for our evil deeds, and for our great guilt, seeing that you our Mighty One have punished us less than our iniquities deserve, and have given us such a remnant, 9:14SHALL WE AGAIN BREAK YOUR COMMANDMENTS, AND JOIN IN AFFINITY WITH THE PEOPLES THAT DO THESE ABOMINATIONS? Would not you be angry with us until you had consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape? 9:15Yahweh, the Mighty One of Yisra'el, you are righteous; for we are left a remnant that is escaped, as it is this day: behold, WE ARE BEFORE YOU IN OUR GUILTINESS; FOR NONE CAN STAND BEFORE YOU BECAUSE OF THIS."'The People Were Repentant Concerning Their Sin
Ezra 10:1-5 reads,
'10:1Now while Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of the Mighty One, there was gathered together to him out of Yisra'el a very great assembly of men and women and children; for THE PEOPLE WEPT VERY SORE. 10:2Shekhanyahu the son of Yechi'el, one of the sons of `Elam, answered Ezra, "We have trespassed against our Mighty One, and HAVE MARRIED FOREIGN WOMEN OF THE PEOPLES OF THE LAND: YET NOW THERE IS HOPE FOR YISRA'EL CONCERNING THIS THING. 10:3Now therefore LET US MAKE A COVENANT WITH OUR MIGHTY ONE TO PUT AWAY ALL THE WIVES, AND SUCH AS ARE BORN OF THEM, according to the counsel of my master, and of those who tremble at the commandment of our Mighty One; and LET IT BE DONE ACCORDING TO THE LAW. 10:4Arise; for the matter belongs to you, and we are with you: be of good courage, and do it." 10:5Then arose Ezra, and made the chiefs of the Kohanim, the Levites, and all Yisra'el, to swear that they would do according to this word. So they swore.'
10:1 shows that the people were of a repentant heart, manifested by their very sore weeping.
Yahweh Forgives Those Who Repent
10:2 shows Shekhanyahu's VERY ENCOURAGING statement: "yet now there is hope for Yisrael concerning this thing." He then goes on to show that if sinners repent, even of grievous sins, Yahweh will forgive them. But they must repent, not just in their heart, but also by their outward conduct.
Repentance Involves Both The Heart And Outward Conduct
10:3 shows the outward conduct required of their repentant heart: they had "to put away all the wives, and such as are born of them"! In other words, it was NOT SUFFICIENT to just feel sorry for one's sin, and acknowledge one's guilt before Yahweh. Where REMEDIAL ACTION needed to be taken, that remedial action had to be taken. And the performance of that remedial action would have completed their repentance in the matter. And this action in putting away all the forbidden wives and the children that they bore was in HARMONY with Yahweh's law!
Ezra 10:7-14 reads,
'10:7
They made proclamation throughout Yahudah and Yerushalayim to all the children of the captivity, that they should gather themselves together to Yerushalayim; 10:8and that whoever didn't come within three days, according to the counsel of the princes and the Zakenim, all his substance should be forfeited, AND HIMSELF SEPARATED FROM THE ASSEMBLY OF THE CAPTIVITY. 10:9Then all the men of Yahudah and Binyamin gathered themselves together to Yerushalayim within the three days; it was the ninth month, on the twentieth day of the month: and all the people sat in the broad place before the house of the Mighty One, TREMBLING BECAUSE OF THIS MATTER, and for the great rain. 10:10Ezra the Kohen stood up, and said to them, "You have trespassed, and have married foreign women, TO INCREASE THE GUILT OF YISRA'EL. 10:11Now therefore MAKE CONFESSION TO YAHWEH, the Mighty One of your fathers, and DO HIS PLEASURE; and SEPARATE YOURSELVES FROM THE PEOPLES OF THE LAND, AND FROM THE FOREIGN WOMEN." 10:12Then all the assembly answered with a loud voice, "As you have said concerning us, SO MUST WE DO. 10:13But the people are many, and it is a time of much rain, and we are not able to stand outside: neither is this a work of one day or two; for WE HAVE GREATLY TRANSGRESSED IN THIS MATTER. 10:14Let now our princes be appointed for all the assembly, and let all those who are in our cities who have married foreign women come at appointed times, and with them the Zakenim of every city, and the judges of it, UNTIL THE FIERCE WRATH OF OUR MIGHTY ONE BE TURNED FROM US, UNTIL THIS MATTER BE DISPATCHED."'10:7-8 notes that a proclamation was made to the effect that those who would not take the requisite steps in the repentance of this great sin would be separated from the assembly of the returned exiles. In other words, if those who serve Yahweh have entered into forbidden marriages, and the matter comes to light among these who serve Yahweh, they must repent of their sin. They must put away their spouses who do not serve Yahweh, and the children of those spouses who do not serve Yahweh. If they refuse to so repent they are cast out of the assembly of those who serve Yahweh. For the assembly of those who serve Yahweh has no place for unrepentant sinners, especially of grievous sins such as marrying forbidden spouses.
It seems from 10:9 that Yahweh brought about a TREMBLING upon the people because of this matter, to impress upon them its gravity.
Entering Into A Forbidden Sexual Relationship Increases One's Guilt
10:10 shows that by marrying forbidden women the people INCREASED their own guilt, on top of that of their other sins.
10:11 summarises the REPENTANCE PROCESS: 1. confession to Yahweh of the sin committed, and 2. doing Yahweh's pleasure, which involved 3. separating oneself from the people of the land and from the forbidden spouses.
Make Confession To Yahweh For Your Sin
10:13 shows that the people made confession to Yahweh for their sin, for they acknowledged their great transgression in the matter.
Yahweh's Fierce Wrath Comes Upon Those Involved In Forbidden Sexual Relationships
10:14 shows that they made a tangible proposal for doing Yahweh's pleasure, for separating themselves from the unrighteous peoples of the land and from the forbidden spouses. And these repentance acts they would do until Yahweh's fierce wrath was turned from them, for Yahweh's fierce wrath was on them because they entered into forbidden marriages.
Entering Into A Forbidden Marriage Is A Great Transgression
It should therefore be clear that it is a GREAT TRANSGRESSION for one to enter into a forbidden marriage, a marriage that Yahweh has forbidden. Such a marriage is not valid in his eyes, for the woman in that "marriage" is not the wife of the man in that "marriage". And seeing that a man is to have sexual relations with no woman other than his wife, and a woman is to have sexual relations with no man other her husband, Yahweh's FIERCE WRATH comes upon those who have sexual relations when they are not married in his eyes.
Where a servant or handmaiden of Yahweh finds himself or herself in a forbidden marriage, a marriage of disobedience to Yahweh, he or she should repent of this great transgression. And that repentance involves putting away the forbidden spouse, and the children that have been born from that forbidden relationship! And should any servant or handmaiden of Yahweh think that this is too difficult a thing to do, they should remember that it is Yahweh's pleasure that they should do. They should also remember that Yahweh changes not, and is the same yesterday, today, and forever. And seeing that he required this of his people in the past, he also requires it of his people in the present!
Do You Love Yah'shuah More Than You Love Your Forbidden Spouse And Children?
Yah'shuah's words in Matthew 10:37 should also be remembered, for he said,
'10:37
He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; and he who loves son or daughter more than me isn't worthy of me.'Also, Luke 14:26-27 reads,
'14:26
"If any man comes to me, and doesn't hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he can't be my disciple. 14:27Whoever doesn't bear his own cross, and come after me, can't be my disciple."'Repent Of Your Forbidden Marriage And Do Yahweh's Pleasure
Therefore, when a servant or handmaiden of Yahweh has come to realise that he or she is involved in a forbidden marriage, a marriage that is not valid in Yahweh's eyes, he or she must repent of that great transgression and do Yahweh's pleasure. Seeing that Yahweh's pleasure is that his repenting servants and handmaidens put away their forbidden spouses, and such children as are born to them in those forbidden relationships, they must indeed do so. They must love Yahweh and Yah'shuah more than they love their forbidden spouses and the children born to them in those forbidden relationships! And it is necessary that they bear these crosses of theirs, and go after Yah'shuah, if they are to be and remain Yah'shuah's disciples!
These are indeed tough things to do, but they are Yahweh's pleasure. And it is Yahweh's pleasure that we must do, and not our own pleasure, if we are to be worthy of Yahweh and Yah'shuah, and become and remain Yah'shuah's disciples.
What Is The Fierce Wrath Of Yahweh?
Ezra 10:14 talks of the FIERCE WRATH of Yahweh that comes on those who serve Yahweh who enter into and remain in forbidden marriages or sexual relationships. It also talks of this fierce wrath of Yahweh turning from these who serve Yahweh when they repent, by their deeds, from their forbidden marriages or sexual relationships.
WHAT is the FIERCE WRATH of Yahweh?
2 Samuel 24:1-25 shows us WHAT the fierce wrath of Yahweh is, and the effects of the fierce wrath of Yahweh!
2 Samuel 24:1-2 reads,
'24:1
Again the ANGER OF YAHWEH was KINDLED AGAINST YISRA'EL, and HE MOVED DAVID AGAINST THEM, saying, "Go, number Yisra'el and Yahudah." 24:2The king said to Yo'av the captain of the host, who was with him, "Go now back and forth through all the tribes of Yisra'el, from Dan even to Be'er-Sheva, and number you the people, that I may know the sum of the people."'The Anger Of Yahweh Is A Person
It should be noted that the ANGER OF YAHWEH has capability to move a human being against other human beings! It should be noted that the ANGER OF YAHWEH is a PERSON! For the Anger of Yahweh is described as a "he", meaning a person who moved David against Yisrael!
The Anger Of Yahweh Acts Against The People Who Serve Yahweh
It should also be noted this person, the Anger of Yahweh, acts against Yisrael, acts against the people who serve Yahweh! And he uses anyone he can influence, even a servant of Yahweh, to act against other servants of Yahweh! Yes, this person, the Anger of Yahweh, acts to divide Yahweh's servants, that they may take courses of action to harm themselves!
The Anger Of Yahweh Is The Destroyer - Satan
In other words, the objective of the Anger of Yahweh is the harming and destruction of the people who serve Yahweh! In other words, the Anger of Yahweh is the DESTROYER - HASATAN HIMSELF!
And in 24:1 Hasatan, the Anger of Yahweh, the Destroyer, moved David against the servants of Yahweh, the people of Yisrael!
No One Who Serves Yahweh Is Immune From Being Moved By Satan To Act Against The People Of Yahweh
It should also be noted that no servant of Yahweh, even the chief servant of Yahweh in a particular domain, is immune from being moved by the Anger of Yahweh to act against the people of Yahweh! For Hasatan succeeded in moving David, the king over the people of Yahweh, to act against the very people he was king over! In other words, he moved David to destroy to his own kingdom!
It should therefore be clear that the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan, works to move us to act in such a manner as to bring about our own destruction! For, being the Destroyer, that is his objective!
Those Who Serve Yahweh Sometimes Act Very Foolishly
2 Samuel 24:9-10 reads,
'24:9
Yo'av gave up the sum of the numbering of the people to the king: and there were in Yisra'el eight hundred thousand valiant men who drew the sword; and the men of Yahudah were five hundred thousand men. 24:10DAVID'S HEART STRUCK HIM AFTER that he had numbered the people. David said to Yahweh, "I HAVE SINNED GREATLY in that which I have done: but now, Yahweh, put away, I beg you, THE INIQUITY OF YOUR SERVANT; for I HAVE DONE VERY FOOLISHLY."'When David, in the course of time, eventually realised that he had sinned greatly by succumbing to the influence of the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan, he repented of his sin and confessed it before Yahweh. Nevertheless, in his great sin, in his iniquity, he had done very foolishly.
Yielding To Satan Only Brings About Sin And Death
It should be noted that yielding to the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan, only brings about sin, even great sin, and death! For Hasatan's objective is to kill the servants of Yahweh!
A Penalty Has To Be Paid For Our Great Sins
2 Samuel 24:11-15 reads,
'24:11
When David rose up in the morning, the word of Yahweh came to the prophet Gad, David's seer, saying, 24:12"Go and speak to David, 'Thus says Yahweh, I offer you three things: choose you one of them, that I may do it to you.'" 24:13So Gad came to David, and told him, and said to him, "Shall seven years of famine come to you in your land? Or will you flee three months before your foes while they pursue you? Or shall there be three days' pestilence in your land? Now advise you, and consider what answer I shall return to him who sent me." 24:14David said to Gad, "I AM IN A GREAT STRAIT: LET US FALL NOW INTO THE HAND OF YAHWEH; FOR HIS MERCIES ARE GREAT; and let me not fall into the hand of man." 24:15So Yahweh sent a pestilence on Yisra'el from the morning even to the time appointed; and THERE DIED OF THE PEOPLE from Dan even to Be'er-Sheva SEVENTY THOUSAND MEN.'It should be noted that though David had already acknowledged and confessed his sin to Yahweh, a PENALTY nevertheless had to be paid for David's great sin, succumbing to the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan!
Even The Most Merciful Penalty Has Severe Consequences
It should also be noted that the MOST MERCIFUL penalty that David chose, out of the three that had been offered to him, still resulted in the DEATH OF SEVENTY THOUSAND MEN!
It should therefore be clear that succumbing to the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan, results in great destruction upon the people of Yahweh! For his objective is to destroy the people of Yahweh.
Another Scripture Identifies The Fierce Wrath Of Yahweh
The parallel account to 2 Samuel 24, found in 1 Chronicles 21:1-30, clearly identifies the Anger of Yahweh. For 1 Chronicles 21:1 reads,
'21:1HASATAN stood up AGAINST YISRA'EL, and MOVED DAVID to number Yisra'el.'
It should therefore be clear that the FIERCE WRATH of Yahweh spoken of in Ezra 10:14, that was turned on Yisrael, the people of Yahweh, was none other than the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan. In other words, because Yahweh's servants had sinned greatly by entering into and remaining in forbidden marriages, marriages contrary to Yahweh's will, Hasatan found occasion to turn towards and against the people of Yahweh! And just as Ezra 10:14 shows that it is only when complete repentance has been undertaken, both inwardly and outwardly, that the Fierce Wrath of Yahweh, the Anger of Yahweh, Hasatan, turns away from the people of Yahweh.
It should therefore be clear that when the people of Yahweh sin greatly by entering into and remaining in forbidden marriages, and do not sever these marriages, Hasatan finds great occasion to do them much harm and to destroy them!
Appreciating Why Yahweh Forbids His People From Marrying Those Who Do Not Serve Him
It should now be better appreciated why Yahweh forbids his people, those who serve him, from marrying those who do not serve him. For those who do not serve him, if married by those who serve him, will eventually turn his servants and handmaidens away from serving Yahweh, eventually bringing about their own destruction and death! Servants of Yahweh should indeed realise that they are indeed warring against Hasatan and his agents, and not flesh and blood. It therefore pays and serves them to LISTEN TO YAHWEH, and to heed Yahweh's words to them. For Yahweh's words and commands to them act as a hedge around them, protecting them from much harm that Hasatan and his agents are trying to inflict upon them, in order to destroy them.
It should also be noted that Hasatan can use any one of Yahweh's servants or handmaidens to act against other servants and handmaidens of Yahweh, and bring about great harm to Yahweh's people. It should therefore be clear why Ezra 10:8 showed that those of the people of Yahweh who do not act to repent of their great sin should be cast out of the assembly of the people of Yahweh. For such unrepentant sinners are the ones Hasatan uses to do much harm to the rest of Yahweh's people.
It is therefore imperative that Yahweh's people who are in forbidden marriages REPENT of this great sin. That both they and the rest of Yahweh's people not be harmed by Hasatan, harm Hasatan can inflict against them on account of their great sin of remaining in forbidden marriages.
Nehemiah 13:23-27 reads,
'13:23
In those days also saw I the Yahudim who had married women of Ashdod, of `Ammon, and of Mo'av: 13:24and their children spoke half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Yahudim' language, but according to the language of each people. 13:25I contended with them, and cursed them, and struck certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by the Mighty One, saying, "You shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons, or for yourselves." 13:26DID NOT SHELOMO KING OF YISRA'EL SIN BY THESE THINGS? Yet among many nations was there NO KING LIKE HIM, and HE WAS BELOVED OF HIS MIGHTY ONE, and the Mighty One made him king over all Yisra'el: NEVERTHELESS EVEN HIM DID FOREIGN WOMEN CAUSE TO SIN. 13:27Shall we then listen to you to do all THIS GREAT EVIL, TO TRESSPASS AGAINST OUR MIGHTY ONE IN MARRYING FOREIGN WOMEN?'We should learn from Shelomo's life. We should not presume, in arrogance or loony wisdom, to think that we can remain faithful to Yahweh while we disregard his words not to marry those who do not serve him. For such forbidden spouses will eventually cause us to sin, even as they caused wise Shelomo to sin. And we should remember that marrying forbidden spouses is a GREAT EVIL AND TRESSPASS against Yahweh!
If we desire to remain Yahweh's and Yah'shuah's we must do their pleasure, and not the great evil and trespass of marrying forbidden spouses.
Miryam Was Yosef's Wife Well Before They Came Together Or Became One Flesh
Matthew 1:18-25 reads,
'1:18
Now the birth of Yah'shuah the Messiah was like this. When his mother, Miryam, HAD BEEN ENGAGED TO YOSEF, BEFORE THEY CAME TOGETHER, she was found with child by the Holy Spirit. 1:19Yosef, HER HUSBAND, being a righteous man, and not willing to make her a public example, intended to put her away secretly. 1:20But when he thought about these things, behold, an angel of Yahweh appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Yosef, you son of David, don't be afraid to take to yourself Miryam, YOUR WIFE, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. 1:21She shall bring forth a son. You shall call his name YAH'SHUAH, for it is he who shall save his people from their sins."1:22
Now all this happened, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by Yahweh through the prophet, saying,1:23
"Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son.They shall call his name Immanu'el;"
which is, being interpreted, "The Mighty One with us." 1:24Yosef arose from his sleep, and did as the angel of Yahweh commanded him, and TOOK HIS WIFE TO HIMSELF; 1:25and DIDN'T KNOW HER SEXUALLY UNTIL she had brought forth her firstborn son. He named him YAH'SHUAH.'
It should be clear that from the moment that Miryam had been engaged to Yosef, from the moment that she had been given to Yosef to be his wife, she was indeed his wife, well prior to their coming together, and well prior to having any sex between themselves. For 1:19 calls Yosef, before they came together, as "her husband". The angel of Yahweh calls Miryam in 1:20 as "your wife", while speaking to Yosef. 1:24 reiterates that Miryam was indeed "his wife".
When Marriage Takes Place In Yahweh's Eyes
It should therefore be clear that in Yahweh's eyes marriage takes place when a woman is given to a man to be his wife, by those with capacity to do so, and in a manner that does not violate his word. Sexual union or one-fleshness is not what determines whether a woman is a man's wife. A man's love for a woman, or his soul being enjoined to her, does not determine whether that woman is his wife. A woman is a man's wife if she has been given to be his wife by those lawfully capable of doing so, and he has acquiesced to taking her as his wife.
Shalom
ISAAC
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