Divorce And Defilement

Deuteronomy 24:1-4 reads,

24:1When a man takes a wife, and marries her, then it shall be, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he has found some unseemly thing in her, that he shall write her a bill of divorce, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house. 24:2When she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man’s wife. 24:3If the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorce, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, who took her to be his wife; 24:4her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before Yahweh: and you shall not cause the land to sin, which Yahweh your God gives you for an inheritance.

            It appears that Yahweh allows a man to divorce his wife for uncleanness found in his wife, that is sexual immorality on the part of his wife.

            If after divorcing his wife, and his wife marries someone else, and subsequently becomes single again, Yahweh forbids the original husband from marrying this woman again, a woman he had divorced and was subsequently married to another. For this is an abomination before Yahweh.

            Once a woman has left one’s household by way of divorce, and has become another’s, she is not to return to one’s household again. Any such return is an abomination before Yahweh. One's divorce of one's wife is therefore irrevocable if she becomes sexually defiled while divorced from him.

Is An Adulterous Wife Sexually Forbidden From Her Husband?

            In fact the above appears to apply not just to one’s wife who has been divorced and has thereby left one’s household. For the reason given by Yahweh for not so taking such a woman back as one’s wife is that she has been defiled, that is has had sexual intercourse with another man, after she had been one’s wife.

            It therefore appears that if one’s wife is adulterous, even prior to being divorced by one, one should not treat her as one’s wife, for she as an adulterous wife has already been defiled by another after she has been one’s wife. In other words, once one’s wife willingly has sexual intercourse with another, her husband is no longer authorised by Yahweh to take her again into his embrace and sexually lie with her.

Is A Wife Raped By Another Man Sexually Forbidden From Her Husband?

            In a case whereby one’s wife has been unwillingly raped, does the same rule apply? In other words, as she has had sexual intercourse with someone who is not her husband, and therefore appears to have been defiled under the rendition of the above scriptures, can the husband still sexually lie with her as formerly?

            It appears that the husband is not to lie with her as formerly, unless defilement occurs only in a case when the wife willingly lies with another man. Nevertheless, for practical guidance, the case of David’s concubines needs to be examined - after they were sexually defiled by David’s son Absalom when the latter usurped the throne of Israel for himself.

2 Samuel 16:20-23 reads,

16:20Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give your counsel what we shall do. 16:21Ahithophel said to Absalom, Go in to your father’s concubines, that he has left to keep the house; and all Israel will hear that you are abhorred of your father: then will the hands of all who are with you be strong. 16:22So they spread Absalom a tent on the top of the house; and Absalom went in to his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. 16:23The counsel of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if a man inquired at the oracle of God: so was all the counsel of Ahithophel both with David and with Absalom.

Why Did David Not Sexually Lie With Those Wives Of His Raped By Absalom?

            When David regained the throne and returned to his house, he took his defiled concubines and put them in seclusion and supported them, but did not sexually lie with them. And so they remained in seclusion until the day of their death, living in effective widowhood

2 Samuel 20:3 reads,

20:3David came to his house at Jerusalem; and the king took the ten women his concubines, whom he had left to keep the house, and put them in custody, and provided them with sustenance, but didn’t go in to them. So they were shut up to the day of their death, living in widowhood.

            The lesson from David’s practical example is that a wife who has been raped has been defiled, and her husband is not to sexually lie with her again! She has effectively been made a widow, in that she is not to sexually lie with her husband again! Nevertheless, her husband is still duty bound to provide for her in all non-sexual ways. She will be free to marry again and resume sexual relations, this time with her new husband, only upon the death of her existing husband.

Was David Guilty Of Violating Exodus 21:10-11?

Can David be accused of the guilt of not having fulfilled the scriptural command in Exodus 21:10-11, specifically that of providing his wives with their sexual rights? For if he never had sex with them again after their defilement by Absalom then he certainly failed to provide these wives of his with their sexual rights. Was he held guilty?

It appears that David was faced with a situation of conflict of two laws. One law commanded him to provide for his each of his wives in terms of food, clothing and sexual rights. The other forbade him from committing the abomination of sexually lying with any wife of his after her defilement. It appears that the law of not committing abomination took precedence over that of ensuring that he provided for the sexual rights of each wife of his. He therefore obeyed the law that took precedence over the other. He was therefore held to be guiltless in this matter!

David should also not be accused of having put his wives in a situation whereby they were likely to commit adultery, in that as he was not providing for their sexual rights, they were tempted to commit adultery with other men. David took precautions against this scenario by confining his defiled wives in a house under guard. They could therefore not go out to other men, nor could other men come in to them. They therefore lived the life of widows until their deaths.

Was David's Treatment Of His Sexually Defiled Wives Harsh?

One might say that the judgement on David's wives was harsh. For it was not their fault that they were defiled. All they had done was obey their husband's command to remain behind and keep the house (2 Samuel 15:16). When they were defiled in front of all Israel they were powerless to prevent the act, and therefore they were as women raped in the countryside with none to offer them any help.

Nevertheless, the offending act was not David's judgement on his wives, which was simply a correct application of Yahweh's law. The offending act was Absalom's rape of his father's wives. It is this offence that resulted in their living the rest of their lives in effective widowhood. Their situation was similar to that of the murder of one by another, where the other is an innocent victim. David's wives were therefore innocent victims.

It therefore appears that even in the case of innocent victims, if another has sexually defiled a man's wife he is not to have sex with her again! As this is so for innocent victims, a man should not have sex with any wife of his if she has been defiled through her committing adultery against him. If the man's wife later repents, and the man is forgiving and merciful to her, the most that he can and should do is to provide for her in terms of food and clothing. But he should not have sex with her again, for this is abomination before Yahweh. She, on the other hand, should see out the rest of her days in effective widowhood, not having sex with any man.

It therefore appears to me that in the case of reconciliation between a man and his departed wife, the man must first ascertain whether or not his wife sexually defiled herself while she had departed from him. If he can prove that his wife did not sexually defile herself while she was living apart from him, then he can sexually lie with her after their reconciliation. Otherwise, even if they are reconciled, he is not to sexually lie with her, and is only to provide for her in terms of food and clothing. She is therefore to see out the rest of her days in effective widowhood.

[August 1999 View: Is A Man Allowed To Sexually Lie With His Wife After She Has Sexually Lain With Another While Still His Wife?

Deuteronomy 24:3-4 reads,

24:3If the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorce, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, who took her to be his wife; 24:4her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before Yahweh: and you shall not cause the land to sin, which Yahweh your God gives you for an inheritance.

It Is A FORMER Husband Who Is Sexually Forbidden From A Woman Sexually Defiled

It should be noted that the prohibition is against a FORMER husband, not against an existing husband. It therefore appears that an existing husband is not forbidden from sexually lying with his wife even after she has sexually lain with another man while still his wife.

Jeremiah 3:1 reads, in part,

3:1They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man’s, will he return to her again? Won’t that land be greatly polluted?

It therefore appears that Deuteronomy 24:3-4 applies to a wife who has been put away by divorce and has subsequently become wife to another man. She is forbidden from being married again or sexually lying again with her former husband, who put her away.

Examination Of David's Life With Respect To Deuteronomy 24:1-4

1 Samuel 18:20-28 reads,

18:20Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved David: and they told Saul, and the thing pleased him. 18:21Saul said, I will give her to him, that she may be a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him. Therefore Saul said to David, You shall this day be my son-in-law a second time. 18:22Saul commanded his servants, saying, Commune with David secretly, and say, Behold, the king has delight in you, and all his servants love you: now therefore be the king’s son-in-law. 18:23Saul’s servants spoke those words in the ears of David. David said, Seems it to you a light thing to be the king’s son-in-law, seeing that I am a poor man, and lightly esteemed? 18:24The servants of Saul told him, saying, On this manner spoke David. 18:25Saul said, Thus shall you tell David, The king desires no dowry except one hundred foreskins of the Philistines, to be avenged of the king’s enemies. Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. 18:26When his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. The days were not expired; 18:27and David arose and went, he and his men, and killed of the Philistines two hundred men; and David brought their foreskins, and they gave them in full number to the king, that he might be the king’s son-in-law. Saul gave him Michal his daughter as wife. 18:28Saul saw and knew that Yahweh was with David; and Michal, Saul’s daughter, loved him.

David's Wife Michal Lived With Him In His House After She Became His Wife

1 Samuel 19:11-17 reads,

19:11Saul sent messengers to David’s house, to watch him, and to kill him in the morning: and Michal, David’s wife, told him, saying, If you don’t save your life tonight, tomorrow you will be slain. 19:12So Michal let David down through the window: and he went, and fled, and escaped. 19:13Michal took the teraphim, and laid it in the bed, and put a pillow of goats’ hair at the head of it, and covered it with the clothes. 19:14When Saul sent messengers to take David, she said, He is sick. 19:15Saul sent the messengers to see David, saying, Bring him up to me in the bed, that I may kill him. 19:16When the messengers came in, behold, the teraphim was in the bed, with the pillow of goats’ hair at the head of it. 19:17Saul said to Michal, Why have you deceived me thus, and let my enemy go, so that he is escaped? Michal answered Saul, He said to me, Let me go; why should I kill you?

Saul Illegally Gave David's Wife Michal To Another Man

1 Samuel 25:42-44 reads,

25:42Abigail hurried, and arose, and rode on a donkey, with five ladies of hers who followed her; and she went after the messengers of David, and became his wife. 25:43David also took Ahinoam of Jezreel; and they became both of them his wives. 25:44Now Saul had given Michal his daughter, David’s wife, to Palti the son of Laish, who was of Gallim.

David Secured The Return Of His Wife Michal From Her Adulterous Marriage To Another Man

2 Samuel 3:12-16 reads,

3:12Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, Whose is the land? Saying also, Make your league with me, and, behold, my hand shall be with you, to bring about all Israel to you. 3:13He said, Well; I will make a league with you; but one thing I require of you: that is, you shall not see my face, except you first bring Michal, Saul’s daughter, when you come to see my face. 3:14David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul’s son, saying, Deliver me my wife Michal, whom I pledged to be married to me for one hundred foreskins of the Philistines. 3:15Ish-bosheth sent, and took her from her husband, even from Paltiel the son of Laish. 3:16Her husband went with her, weeping as he went, and followed her to Bahurim. Then said Abner to him, Go, return: and he returned.

Michal Lived In David's House After Her Return To Him

2 Samuel 6:11-23 reads,

6:11The ark of Yahweh remained in the house of Obed-edom the Gittite three months: and Yahweh blessed Obed-edom, and all his house. 6:12It was told king David, saying, Yahweh has blessed the house of Obed-edom, and all that pertains to him, because of the ark of God. David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom into the city of David with joy. 6:13It was so, that, when those who bore the ark of Yahweh had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fattened calf. 6:14David danced before Yahweh with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod. 6:15So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of Yahweh with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet. 6:16It was so, as the ark of Yahweh came into the city of David, that Michal the daughter of Saul looked out at the window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before Yahweh; and she despised him in her heart. 6:17They brought in the ark of Yahweh, and set it in its place, in the midst of the tent that David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and peace-offerings before Yahweh. 6:18When David had made an end of offering the burnt offering and the peace-offerings, he blessed the people in the name of Yahweh of Hosts. 6:19He dealt among all the people, even among the whole multitude of Israel, both to men and women, to everyone a cake of bread, and a portion of flesh, and a cake of raisins. So all the people departed everyone to his house. 6:20Then David returned to bless his household. Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel today, who uncovered himself today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovers himself! 6:21David said to Michal, It was before Yahweh, who chose me above your father, and above all his house, to appoint me prince over the people of Yahweh, over Israel: therefore will I play before Yahweh. 6:22I will be yet more vile than this, and will be base in my own sight: but of the handmaids of whom you have spoken, of them shall I be had in honor. 6:23Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.

It should be noted that after Michal was given to David as his wife she moved into his house and there lived with him. It is therefore assumed that while she lived with her husband in his house they had sex.

David Did Not Divorce Michal Prior To Palti Living With Her In An Adulterous Marriage

After David fled from Saul his wife Michal was illegally given to Palti the son of Laish as wife. David had not put Michal away by a bill of divorce. She was still his wife and therefore it was not lawful for any man to have had her as wife. Palti's marriage to Michal was therefore an adulterous marriage!

Was David Forbidden From Receiving Michal Back After Her Adulterous Marriage?

After David assumed the throne over Judah he sought to have his wife Michal return to him. If it was forbidden to David to receive Michal into his household after she had been living in adultery with Palti it is highly unlikely that David would have sought the return of Michal, seeing that David loved and upheld Yahweh's law.

David Did Not Sin In Receiving Michal Back Into His House

David received Michal back into his own house. For the indication in 2 Samuel 6 is that Michal was in David's house looking out at the king. The assumption is that as David had received Michal back into his house he resumed sexual relations with her. If he did he would have been doing so within the bounds of Yahweh's law. For Yahweh's law forbids only a former husband from sexually lying with a woman previously his wife once she has been defiled while no longer his wife. As Michal had not ceased to be David's wife this law did not apply to David. David therefore did not sin in receiving Michal back into his house and resuming a marital life with her.

When David Ceased Having Sex With Michal

It appears that the time that David ceased marital relations with Michal was when she uttered her contemptuous comments to him. For the implication of her not having children to the day of her death is that David did not sexually lie with her from that point forward. And seeing that he did not divorce her with a bill of divorce, it appears that her marriage to him continued to subsist.

A Husband Is Not Sexually Forbidden From His Wife If She Sexually Lies With Another Man While Still His Wife

It therefore appears that a husband is not sexually forbidden from his wife if she has been defiled on account of sexually lying with another man while still married to him.

David Did Not Divorce His Concubine Wives Raped By Absalom

It should be noted that in the matter of David's concubines who had been raped by his son Absalom, whom he subsequently placed in seclusion to the day of their death, without further sex between himself and them, they were not divorced from him. They therefore remained his wives. Therefore Deuteronomy 24:3-4 could not apply to David's relationship with them, seeing that they had not ceased to be his wives.

David's Raped Concubine Wives Did Not Secure Freedom From Slavery Under Exodus 21:10-11 Provisions

It should also be noted that Exodus 21:10-11 did not strictly apply in the case of David's concubine wives. For a concubine wife secures her freedom from slavery to her master and husband in a situation whereby he does not provide her with food, clothing and sex. David failed to provide his concubine wives only with sex. He continued to provide them with food and clothing. They therefore did not qualify to secure freedom from their slavery to him.

A Man Can Continue To Have Sex With A Wife Who Has Had Sex With Another While Still His Wife

Therefore, to reiterate: a man can continue to have sexual relations with a wife of his who has had sex with another while still his wife. Deuteronomy 24:3-4 does not forbid him from continuing to have sex with her. Deuteronomy 24:3-4 applies to a woman who has ceased to be a man's wife, and subsequently had sex with another man. Such a woman is forbidden from sexually lying with the man who divorced her.]

Newly Married Man To Spend Time With His Wife For At Least One Year

Deuteronomy 24:5 reads,

24:5When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out in the host, neither shall he be charged with any business: he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer his wife whom he has taken.

            A man who has married a new wife, whether the first or a subsequent one, is not to be charged with any business taking him away from home for at least one year. He shall be left to remain at home for the purpose of giving happiness to his new wife.

            Husbands should therefore strive to give and bring happiness to their wives, not just in the first year of their wives marriage, when it is paramount, but also in subsequent periods.

Duty To A Brother's Widow

Deuteronomy 25:5-10 reads,

25:5If brothers dwell together, and one of them die, and have no son, the wife of the dead shall not be married outside to a stranger: her husband’s brother shall go in to her, and take her to him as wife, and perform the duty of a husband’s brother to her. 25:6It shall be, that the firstborn whom she bears shall succeed in the name of his brother who is dead, that his name not be blotted out of Israel. 25:7If the man doesn’t want to take his brother’s wife, then his brother’s wife shall go up to the gate to the elders, and say, My husband’s brother refuses to raise up to his brother a name in Israel; he will not perform the duty of a husband’s brother to me. 25:8Then the elders of his city shall call him, and speak to him: and if he stand, and say, I don’t want to take her; 25:9then his brother’s wife shall come to him in the presence of the elders, and loose his shoe from off his foot, and spit in his face; and she shall answer and say, So shall it be done to the man who does not build up his brother’s house. 25:10His name shall be called in Israel, The house of him who has his shoe loosed.

            It is Yahweh’s intention that each household in Israel should have a lasting name - a name that is not snuffed out by the death of all the males of that lineage. Therefore, if a married man dies without leaving a son, his brother should take his widow as wife and have sexual intercourse with her for the purpose of producing a son who will succeed to the name of the widow’s late husband. In this manner the name of the dead man will not be snuffed out of Israel, but will be perpetuated by the lineage of the son so born from such marriage.

One Should Be Concerned About His Brethren's Welfare

            It is also Yahweh’s intention that brothers should have concern for the welfare of their fellow brothers' households, and to do all in their power to ensure the perpetuation of those households.

One Should Marry A Late Brother's Widow Irrespective Of Whether Or Not One Already Has A Wife

            Regarding marrying one’s late brother’s widow, for the purpose of perpetuating one’s late brother’s name in Israel, one is to so marry one’s late brother’s widow whether or not one is already married to someone else. In other words, the law of marrying a late brother’s widow for the purpose of perpetuating the name of a late brother where the late brother had no son is not negated by a brother already being married to another woman. A late brother’s widow simply becomes an additional wife of an Israelite man.

            It should therefore be clear that Yahweh’s law for Israelites allows for polygyny. It should also be clear that as polygyny is allowed by Yahweh, other aspects of his law can be fulfilled by the Israelites, such as the law of marrying a late brother’s widow for the purpose of producing a son from such marriage to perpetuate his name in Israel, thereby ensuring that his name is not snuffed out of Israel. For if polygyny is not allowed in Yahweh’s law, and a surviving brother already has a wife, then he is legally barred from taking his late brother’s widow as his wife. But that Yahweh commands Israelites to take their late brother’s widows as their wives for the purpose of perpetuating the name of their dead brothers, irrespective of whether or not they are already married, shows that Yahweh’s law incorporates polygyny. Polygyny is therefore in harmony with Yahweh’s law.

Curse For Disobedience

Deuteronomy 28:30 reads,

28:30You shall betroth a wife, and another man shall lie with her: you shall build a house, and you shall not dwell therein: you shall plant a vineyard, and shall not use the fruit of it.

            Among the curses Yahweh imposes on Israelites who breach faith with him is that of being betrothed to a woman, and another man sexually lying with that woman, prior to the one betrothed to her sexually lying with her! This could occur in a situation of the man dying prior to sexually lying with his betrothed wife.

Yahweh Gives David His Wives

2 Samuel 12:7-8 reads,

12:7Nathan said to David, "You are the man. This is what Yahweh, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you out of the hand of Saul. 12:8I gave you your master’s house, and your master’s wives into your bosom, and gave you the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that would have been too little, I would have added to you many more such things.

            Among the things Yahweh gave David were his master Saul’s wives - plural, upon Saul’s death. It should therefore be clear that polygyny is within Yahweh’s law, for he would not do something that would cause a servant of his to live in a manner not in harmony with his own law. And not only that, Yahweh would have added more wives to David if what David already had was not adequate for him. Polygyny is therefore truly within Yahweh’s law.

A Widow Can Be Married By Anyone If Her Late Husband Already Has A Son

            Yahweh’s giving of David Saul’s wives after the latter’s death shows that that person's near brethren must not necessarily marry a person's widow or widows. David came from a tribe different to that of Saul, and yet was given Saul’s widows by none other than Yahweh himself. Widows, provided their late husband’s son exists who assumes the name of their late husband, can be married by anyone, whether or not a kinsman of the late husband. Upon the death of her husband, a woman is free to marry whomever she pleases.

Entering Slavery

2 Kings 4:1-7 reads,

4:1Now there cried a certain woman of the wives of the sons of the prophets to Elisha, saying, Your servant my husband is dead; and you know that your servant did fear Yahweh: and the creditor is come to take to him my two children to be bondservants. 4:2Elisha said to her, What shall I do for you? tell me; what have you in the house? She said, Your handmaid has nothing in the house, except a pot of oil. 4:3Then he said, Go, borrow you vessels abroad of all your neighbors, even empty vessels; borrow not a few. 4:4You shall go in, and shut the door on you and on your sons, and pour out into all those vessels; and you shall set aside that which is full. 4:5So she went from him, and shut the door on her and on her sons; they brought the vessels to her, and she poured out. 4:6It happened, when the vessels were full, that she said to her son, Bring me yet a vessel. He said to her, There isn’t another vessel. The oil stayed. 4:7Then she came and told the man of God. He said, Go, sell the oil, and pay your debt, and live you and your sons of the rest.

            It appears that in Israelite law if one dies while owing property to a creditor, the creditor has power to acquire such property from the household of the deceased to repay that which is owed to him. If the deceased debtor had no property, other than his own children still in his household, then his children would be taken into slavery, serving the creditor, until such time as the debt was repaid, or their release from slavery came in the year of release. It therefore appears that even male children while still in their father’s household belong to their father, just as females belong to their fathers until such time as they are given in marriage to another man.

How A Rapist's Children Can Enter Into Slavery

Earlier on the matter of a man who rapes a betrothed virgin was considered. Yahweh's law in Deuteronomy 22:25-27 shows that the man deserves to die. Also, Exodus 22:16-17 shows that a man who sexually lies with a virgin ought to pay to her father money equivalent to dowry for virgins - fifty shekels as seen in Deuteronomy 22:29. Seeing that the woman cannot be given to the rapist, seeing that she is already pledged to be married to her husband, she does not become the rapist's wife. Also, if the rapist does not pay the money for raping a virgin this money can be recovered from his property or estate. And if he is poor, having only children, then his children are taken into slavery for the debt for their rapist father.

Why Marriage To Non-Israelites Forbidden

Nehemiah 13:23-27 reads,

13:23In those days also saw I the Jews who had married women of Ashdod, of Ammon, and of Moab: 13:24and their children spoke half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews’ language, but according to the language of each people. 13:25I contended with them, and cursed them, and struck certain of them, and plucked off their hair, and made them swear by God, saying, You shall not give your daughters to their sons, nor take their daughters for your sons, or for yourselves. 13:26Did not Solomon king of Israel sin by these things? Yet among many nations was there no king like him, and he was beloved of his God, and God made him king over all Israel: nevertheless even him did foreign women cause to sin. 13:27Shall we then listen to you to do all this great evil, to trespass against our God in marrying foreign women?

            Israelites should not take wives who do not worship Yahweh, nor should they give their daughters to men who do not worship Yahweh. Marriage amongst followers of Yahweh should be amongst fellow followers of Yahweh. Otherwise those who marry those who do not follow Yahweh risk being influenced away from following Yahweh, even as Shelomo (Solomon) left following Yahweh faithfully after he married women who did not follow Yahweh.

Another Curse For The Disobedient

Psalm 78:63-64 reads,

78:63Fire devoured their young men;
Their virgins had no wedding song.

78:64Their priests fell by the sword;
Their widows made no lamentation.

            It is a curse for a people to have their maidens not being married, despite being pledged to be married, for part of the penalty the Israelites experienced for their apostasy against Yahweh was their maidens not being married despite being pledged to be married. This therefore implies that being married after being pledged to be married is a blessing, and therefore all maidens who are actually married after being pledged to be married are blessed. Being married after being pledged to be married is therefore something that a maiden should look forward to.

            For a maid to be given in marriage implies that there must be one who gives her in marriage, one with authority over her who gives her in marriage to another, her husband, to whom she then becomes answerable to. The one giving her in marriage, the one who has authority over her, is her father.

            A maid, prior to marriage, as being under the authority of her father, should live her life in a manner approved of by her father. Once given in marriage to her husband, and thereby coming under the authority of her husband, she should then live her life in a manner approved of by her husband.

            A woman ought therefore to be under the authority of a man. Initially this man is her father. Upon marriage her husband then assumes the role of being the man with authority over her.

            But authority over a woman does not come without a price. The price is proper provision for those under one’s authority. Therefore a father must properly provide for his entire household, including his wives and children. A new husband must also properly provide for his entire household, including his wife and their children as and when these come along.

Effect Of A Wife's Conduct

Proverbs 12:4 reads,

12:4A worthy woman is the crown of her husband,
But a disgraceful wife is as rottenness in his bones.

            The actions of a wife, being of the household of her husband, reflect upon the husband, whether good or bad.

A Good Wife

Proverbs 31:10-31 reads,

31:10Who can find a worthy woman?
For her price is far above rubies.

31:11The heart of her husband trusts in her.
He shall have no lack of gain.

31:12She does him good, and not harm,
All the days of her life.

31:13She seeks wool and flax,
And works eagerly with her hands.

31:14She is like the merchant ships.
She brings her bread from afar.

31:15She rises also while it is yet night,
Gives food to her household,
And portions for her servant girls.

31:16She considers a field, and buys it.
With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard.

31:17She girds her loins with strength,
And makes her arms strong.

31:18She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp doesn’t go out by night.

31:19She lays her hands to the distaff,
And her hands hold the spindle.

31:20She opens her arms to the poor;
Yes, she extends her hands to the needy.

31:21She is not afraid of the snow for her household;
For all her household are clothed with scarlet.

31:22She makes for herself carpets of tapestry.
Her clothing is fine linen and purple.

31:23Her husband is respected in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.

31:24She makes linen garments and sells them,
And delivers sashes to the merchant.

31:25Strength and dignity are her clothing.
She laughs at the time to come.

31:26She opens her mouth with wisdom.
Faithful instruction is on her tongue.

31:27She looks well to the ways of her household,
And doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.

31:28Her children rise up and call her blessed.
Her husband also praises her:

31:29"Many women do noble things,
But you excel them all."

31:30Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain;
But a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised.

31:31Give her of the fruit of her hands;
Let her works praise her in the gates.

            A virtuous wife properly secures the trust and confidence of her husband.

            Verse 11 suggests that because her husband safely trusts in her, he will have no lack of gain. In other words, a manner for the husband to ensure no lack of gain is to safely trust in his wife - a virtuous wife. Therefore those men with virtuous wives, and who safely trust in them, have no lack of gain!

            Virtuous wives do their husbands good and not evil, all the days of their lives. It is therefore manifestly evident that wives who do not do good to their husbands, wives who do evil to their husbands, are not virtuous wives.

            Virtuous wives are willingly enterprising and industrious. They provide food and other life’s essentials to their households, including also their maidservants. They also have the resources to properly have maidservants and provide for them.

            Virtuous wives are solidly grounded in Yahweh’s law and word, and even when all is spiritual doom and darkness around them, they remain spiritual lights which continue firmly in Yahweh’s way of life.

            Virtuous wives provide for the poor and the needy.

            Virtuous wives have husbands who are known in the community, who sit among the elders in the land.

            Virtuous wives, having covered themselves with the strength and honour that comes from doing Yahweh’s word, will rejoice in the time to come. They shall be in Yahweh’s kingdom, rejoicing in it.

            Out of the mouths of virtuous wives comes wisdom, and this wisdom is the law of kindness, that is Yahweh’s own law. Virtuous wives are therefore thoroughly grounded in Yahweh’s law and express this law both in their conduct and in their words.

            The children of virtuous wives call them blessed, for they do indeed recognise the blessing upon their mothers from Yahweh. Their husbands also praise them, for they take note of their works in Yahweh and thereby offer due praise.

            Virtuous wives fear Yahweh, and this is the beginning of their wisdom and good understanding.


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